You simply don't, when born 99 years ago

In memory of my mother, Evlin, who died peacefully this week after a full and stylish 99 years of life.

Advice from Evlin
Don't:

• Cross your legs at the knee

Though at some point this was amended to "except with a Manhattan in your hand."

• Smoke in public

She did quit- but when she smoked, never on the street and in a car only if in the middle of hell's half acre.

• Forget to bring, on arrival at someone's home, a small gift; the gift should be homemade

"Don't show up with one arm as long as the other."

• Pierce your ears

"Harlot! Gypsy!"

• Carry Kleenex

"Why, when I bought you those beautiful hankies?"

• Wear a suede jacket without putting a scarf between the collar and your neck
  

• Wear too much lipstick...

"If you can blot it, it's too much."

• ...BUT don't let your lipstick wear off!

(Tell me how they managed this.)

• Be caught in houseclothes or loungewear when your husband comes home

"Wear a nice afternoon dress. he doesn't want to see you like that."

• Comment about whose designs you're wearing or (the absolute worst) the price
  

"Those who know, know; those who don't know, don't need to know."


Have you heard? It's in the stars,
Next July we collide with Mars!
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!

What a swella-gent, elegant party this is!