Fashion speaks with forked tongue

Wanna read some twaddle? Pretentious both-sides-of mouth BS? Look no further than fashion journalism, which proves itself more specious, intelligence-insulting, and self-adulating than ever.

All examples quoted from Saturday's Toronto Globe and M

From Harry Rosen CEO Larry Rosen
(Harry Rosen is a large, upscale mens' store, recently expanded to 50,000 sq. ft):
"We never had room to go into the fragrance and skincare business", Rosen says. "Men are becoming more eclectic, this is a natural."

Translation: "It's not a fragrance, it's a freaking gold mine."

From Fidelity Denim founder and creative director Jason Trotzuk:
"When I was younger, I resented being in Vancouver. As I got older, though, I realized I might not have had the same drive if I grew up in L.A.... I like that I can look from a distance and take bits of what I like from everywhere."
Translation: "I steal everybody's designs from up here in little old Vancouver!"

Celebrity hairstylist Garren, on cutting Victoria Beckham's pixie style:
"It was clear we had to go short, and create a new look that embraced her beauty, great personality and body."
Translation: "I thought, how the hell can I get Victoria Beckham
more exposure?"

I am saving the best for last.
From Oscar de la Renta, who is old enough to know better, speaking to Jeanne Becker before his fashion show at New York's Fashion Week last Wednesday:
"It's all about women right now. They're finally at a point where they can be who they want to be."
Translation: "Wake me when it's over."


Susan B said…
LOL!!! I think you've nailed it.
WendyB said…
It's hard to come up with something to say season after season, I guess!
Anjela's Day said…
Jargon and obfuscation personified!
Thanks for a great laugh Kathleen!
Anonymous said…
Yes, fashion does speak with forked tongue and I've never been one to suffer fools gladly. BUT it must be working this time around because I'm actually going to take a photo of VB's new hair with me next time I go for a cut - I've even shocked myself with this one but for the first time I actually think she looks good. And I LOVE the Oscar de la Renta collection shown last week in New York. What he should have called it was 'a celebration of colour and joy' - it really is delightful and I got the same feeling from it that I get from your discussions on pearls!

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