My problem with "no problem"
In the past few years, I have become increasingly irritated by this exchange in a restaurant :Duchesse: "May I please have a glass of water?"
Server: "No problem."
"No problem" became the standard service response to any request, (or to "Thank you") somewhere in the '90s, and is a definite generational marker.
While I do not expect forelock-tugging servility, being told by the server that I did not inconvenience him by my request puts the emphasis on the server's well-being. While I hope he is thriving, until my server picks up the tab for the tepid pot of tea he serves or notices (and replaces) the spotty spoon, I'd just as soon he keep his problems or lack of them to himself.
I am just about ready to reply, "I am so pleased that my request for water did not detract from your enjoyment of your day", but being kinder is a resolution for '09, and can I keep it for at least a week into the year?
There are times when I'm OK with "no problem." If I say to a young clerk in the video store-and-espresso-bar, "Would you please grab me another copy of "House", because the case is cracked on this one?" and he says "No problemo", it's fine. Besides, he's my son.But in a white tablecloth restaurant, where servers are hoping for a 20% tip, this level of casual discourse doesn't create a professional hospitality environment.
So, what to do? If I reply, "Glad you don't have a problem with that, because you now have a bigger one: how to be perceived as remotely professional", I am mean, and the generational divide widens.
If I ignore the remark, I tacitly support this locution, and help instill poor practices in a generation.
Restauranteurs are rightfully worried about the economy; they're cutting portion sizes and offering lower-priced items. Now's the time to brush up on service manners, as inattentive or casual service will affect the decision to return.
Comments
My pet server peeve is the drive-by "everything OK here?" and not stopping to wait for us to finish chewing and answer that yes, we'd like more water.
What bugs me is the table squat. When they come and squat by the side of the table, because they've read people tip more when the waiter squats. What? Why? I am actually horrified by this. It is difficult for me to refrain from saying, honey, are you okay? I read CNN news, too, why not just go ahead and shake a coffee cup full of change at my table?
Carlene:Yes! Where do you stand on the Happy Face drawn on the check?
materfamilias: Do you stay silent? What would Megan, in her fine restaurant think (if she thinks of front of the house at all)?
i don't know if it's worth saying something about or not. i don't see it as a generation gap thing, but most servers would honestly not know what you were referring to, or why there is a problem.
a thing that irritates me far more is the whisking away of my plate when i still have bread on it, or my glass when i may still have a swallow or two of wine, because it "looked empty". they're not offering to refill it -- they're just "clearing away." i hate being rushed when i eat. i really do.
my sister works in a restaurant and she has told me that the new standard is "no empty plates on tables" and it's a way of speeding you along. it's also a way of getting me to reduce my tip due to irritation.
and does anyone here still feel that waiters treat men better than women? i have been dining out for many years in every class of restaurant, and have never noticed that men tip particularly better than women, especially these days. maybe when a certain class of women depended on men for an "allowance" they were more careful with their money, but now? most women have their own money, and some even have expense accounts. yet, i still feel men get far more attention in restaurants than women do.
The table squat and the happy face however are really not appropriate between a diner and a waitperson. But then again, my old fuddy-duddy is showing
Only once have I seen myself treated really badly UNTIL man walked in (he was parking) and then spoke to owner.
mardel: Fuddies need proficient, professional service, too!
no smiley faces on my check, please (i always think they're circling something on the total).
I also dislike when the specials are reeled off but not the prices. One of my friends ordered a fish 'special' only to be billed $50 when the highest price regular menu item was $32.
Sjcyogi
"these ones". I longed to lead her to a quiet corner to gently correct her. But I did not.
And then there's "My son, he...".
@Carlene - as a former server, though, I have done the "table squat" only to take the order of a little one who wanted to give me his order all by himself. It's pretty horrifying to see a server squat next to a table of adults. Even in a casual dinnerhouse, you can be too casual.
Don't get me stared on guys who don't take their hats off at the table...
Please put yourselves in the place of the server. Dealing constantly with the public (where as the price of the meal goes up, so does the diva behaviour and demands of some patrons)
Restaurant work is very hard - unless you have done it yourself, especially for a high end spot, you really have no idea. Also, sometimes waitstaff is instructed to say certain phrases. Or squat or introduce themselves by name.
Is it really that important?
Yes, I believe the language a server uses is important when (as I said) one is working in a fine dining restaurant.