"Where did you get that?"

Several visitors asked me that as we toured the city. Another weaponized her partner. Over dinner, Jacquie said, "Sandra wants to know where you buy your clothes—that top you wore last night, for example." 

As I answered Sandra's question, I felt mildly embarrassed.

My unease is rooted in family etiquette. An inquiry about provenance was considered "being nosy", a transgression Mom ranked just below ax murder. If a compliment did not elicit the information ("What a pretty dress, I've never been able to find that colour!" "Oh, it's from Welling's."), you dropped it. A French friend has no use for subtlety; deft as a pickpocket, she will pull my collar back to check the label. I told her to just ask.

And yet, gobsmacked by something great, watch me do the same thing!

At a street market, I saw a curvy, auburn-haired woman in a shirtdress that made her look like an Art Deco goddess—the interesting colourway of the geometric print, the princess-seamed bodice, the elegant length. When she placed her hand in a pocket, I swooned. As if propelled by another brain, I approached to say that her dress was perfection, that she looked so beautiful yet relaxed, that I sometimes wrote about style, and would she be willing to tell me who made it? 

She said it was the "For the Love of Pockets" dress from Bombshell, a London boutique. She was here for the month and (this was the real surprise), she said, "I packed seven dresses. Just dresses." I was impressed with this approach; why not swoosh about—she's not going hiking!

I realized that usually, the inquirer is longing for sources. She too is trying to find a graceful dress, beautiful fabric. I learned that—if the if label is lofty—the inquirer might assume that I spend all my money on clothes. But half the time, it's more likely new only to me. 

My city has luscious secondhand boutiques (Seconde, Le Dressing, Ruse), who make designers somewhat more manageable, as well as friperies, less refined but always worth a peek.

Left: Jacket, Seconde; top right: detail, Tahari dress, Le Dressing; bottom right: Roger Vivier shoes, Ruse.

When I mention secondhand, a frequent rejoinder is, "Oh, I just don't have the time for that." But I've left so many boutiques in empty-handed exasperation that a secondhand swoop is worth my half-hour. I've been thinking of a navy jacket cut long enough for my height. I am smitten by this Frame blazer, but the price, around $650, is a chunk of change when I am not sure. 

A few days ago, I found similar piece in a Sally Ann for $7! I've tried to shoot it, but it's pesky to photograph, so here I am simply looking pleased with a bargain. 

It does not have the hip raw edges of the Frame jacket, but I can assess its utility and see if the pricey version goes on sale. The label is a Montréal mystery brand, NatalieB—perhaps a short-lived company; I can't find any reference.

If it turns out that I don't want to keep the NatalieB for long, it was the price of coffee and a cookie! But already, I have been asked The Question.




Comments

Venasque said…
I always read your comments on thrifting with interest. You seem to find things that are right for you (and fit properly) with relative ease. I just cannot get past the somewhat icky feeling of touching other people's things, no matter how good the bargain.

I'm looking for an oval pearl enhancer to hang on my pearls (don't know if that's what they're still called, I'm having trouble finding what I'm looking for on pearl websites - I keep getting suggestions for earrings - perhaps I don't have the correct name). I just need the pearl, I have some old diamonds I can use to make the loop (I'm sure that's not what it's called). Any suggestions?
Duchesse said…
Venasque: A consignment store (like those shown) have the clothes professionally cleaned before they put them on the sales floor and will not sell anything that suggests the previous owner. Thrifts vary, but I don't buy anything with with an odour or stains, or fabric wear. Some people buy and never wear things, or stores donate unsold stock.

For your pendant project, the enhancer is also called a hinge bail, snap bail, or removable pendant bail. Good ones are •very• hard to find. Here is an oval one in silver: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/183526025/sterling-silver-textured-bail-with-hinge?click_key=66d63f10a8abe14cf32d9e55cf9ee94aa39cd2b2%3A183526025&click_sum=8ad6c51a&external_collection=&sts=1

Finding an enhancer bail that does not look dated and mass-made is really a job. Some jewellers will make them but this is fiddly work, there is a hinge and a closure, and it has to be secure.

A more recent design is the double-ended chain with a 'charm holder' . You slide your pearl pendant onto that. Here is a video from Mejuri showing how that works (watch to the end of brief video): https://mejuri.com/ca/en/shop/products/paperclip-chain-charm-necklace?currency=CAD&source=shoppingads&variant=16+inches&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=nonbrand_shopping_ca_product_necklaces&gclid=Cj0KCQjwyLGjBhDKARIsAFRNgW_nv_T7l0DbbZGpeq6-o8EXEFwDZ4SZv3lATYLBrRLn0Acmf_n7pbwaAij0EALw_wcB

The 'loop' for your pearl pendant is called a bail. A jeweller will use either a stock one or custom make it. Please send me an email if this explanation isn't clear or you have more questions.
Anonymous said…
Where did you get that? This reminded me of years ago when I was at dinner with a friend and another lady. The lady asked my friend where did she get her blouse. My friend was most embarrassed and I could see she didn't want to answer. So I stepped in and said she got it at La Dump. La Dump the lady replied. Yes I said it's a little place in the town.
Well, La Dump was actually the local dump! My friend's husband used to take things to dump there and came across the blouse so he brought it home.
Duchesse said…
Anon@ 1:27: I am still smiling at the boutique name. It does a little confidence to state that source! An old friend would stop inquires in their tracks by saying, "I stole it from Mrs D's (her employer)'s closet." (She had indeed been an au pair but the clothes were offered to her.)

BTW, please sign your comments with any name or pseudonym you like, it's a request I make of all anonymous commenters.
Leslie M said…
First, the dress "For the Love of Pockets" is adorable. I went to the website that you helpfully provided. Very cute, vintage looking designs and most with necklines that dip a little too far "South" for my age. But, the pockets dress work work for a nice dinner date.
Next, your navy blazer is a steal and it looks great on you. The keshi necklace is also lovely. Kojima?
Jane in London said…
Oh, it can be awkward can't it! The only thing worse is being asked how much it cost... ;)

The closest I get is to admire the article and ask "did you get it in London?" This gives them a get-out - they can say no, or yes, or yes and give you the name of the outlet/label.

I suppose this instinctive reluctance to reveal a source stems from those simpler times when women owned far fewer clothes, social occasions were more formal and there was more social awkwardness if someone else wore the same thing as you.

Congratulations on scoring that jacket! I've found some real secondhand bargains in my time, including a beautiful apricot and cream fleck designer linen jacket that appeared unworn and still had the original tacking stitches holding the pockets closed. I wore it happily for years (fortunately, nobody asked me where I'd got it from)
Susan said…
While I recognize the issues involved with asking for a source of a piece of clothing, I recently did just that. Recently, I was at a lunch time lecture series and met a woman wearing a dress of exactly the type I was looking for. After a congenial conversation with her, I mentioned her dress and how much I liked it--and she readily told me the maker. I told her that we were going on a trip and that this type of dress would work perfectly for me. She was so pleased to help. And yes, I ordered the dress--it fits perfectly--and I am very happy. So--I think one just has to gauge the situation and then proceed to ask if it seems comfortable.
Duchesse said…
Leslie M: I have a few dresses like that; a fine cami under addresses overcleavage. Or pearls to fill in the space. Yes, those are Kojima Tahitian keshi.

Jane: That's a discreet inquiry. You remind me that in in my 30s I had to wear what I call "corporate drag", and of good quality; business casual was not acceptable then where I worked. I often bought at consignments and would rather be boiled alive than have to say that to anyone but close friends. Now, the younger generations see second-hand as environmentally responsible, and those rental sites are essentially renting used clothes. The attitude has changed. That apricot jacket sounds gorgeous.

Susan: About 400 women are reading your comment and wondering "WHAT is that perfect dress"? It does feel good to help, whether one gives or receives.
Leslie said…
Yes, Susan, I am but one of 400.
Susan said…
Well, it would have to be the perfect dress for YOU, which might not be the same as for me. I was also looking for a versatile dress to take on a trip where the dress will be worn a number of times. So--it needed to be a low key dress--not too casual, not to dressy. The dress is Broshu Walker's Havana dress in navy blue. I recognize it is not a dress that would work for everyone, but works for me. I am fairly tall (right under 5'8").
Duchesse said…
Susan: Thank you! It is indeed a perfect dress (for those who can wear the length).And though the site does not say, the fabric content suggests it's washable. Oooh and look at all the colours! It is rare that you admire someone's dress and can find it for yourself. Bon voyage!
Beth said…
I'm still a bit agog at the thought of someone packing seven dresses! I don't think I own seven, though I wish I did. In my family, too, asking the question "where did you get that?" would have ben considered tactless. Since my grandmother, mother and I, and other people we knew, often made our own clothes, I think it would have been even more rude. Not so anymore.

I have a favorite navy blazer that was thrifted years and years ago - it's Italian, well-tailored, and only looks a little dated with its shoulder pads but I still love it.
Susan said…
Duchesse, Unfortunately, the Brochu Walker dress is polyester and cotton and the tag says dry clean only. I do wish it was washable. But, the dress fits the bill for our trip (and I've worn it somewhere else in the interim).
Duchesse said…
Susan: A poly-cotton blend is generally a washable fabric unless the item has, for example, buttons that can't be laundered, or the piece is delicately-constructed, or sometimes, especially for low-priced pieces, the dye is not fast. But this is a good dress! Manufacturers often put DCO labels into clothing as a protection against liability because they can't control for the consumer's laundry skills. (A number of salespersons will advise the customer to wash something labelled DCO because they know this.)

If it were my dress, I test it by hand-washing a sleeve, in cool water with a fine-fabric soap, if a dark colour, one made for darks like Woolite Dark.In these times of every company around trying to fluff up their sustainable and ethical reputation, I am surprised they are making DCO clothes except maybe for specialty items. Travelling is another story; you probably won't need to clean the dress, and if you do and are in a local with fast-turnaround cleaning, dry might be more convenient. But when home, I would bet you can wash that.

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