Patricia Marx on "Getting Rid of Almost Everything"
The last two years have been good for at least one pastime: confronting every single possession in your house. After you've done the Marie Kondo drill, where does unwanted stuff go?
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Illustration: The New Yorker |
Patricia Marx' "A Guide to Getting Rid of Almost Everything" (The New Yorker, February 28, 2022) serves up a Dagwood-sized reality sandwich. Marx' march through her purge is not as open-handed and felicitous as Ann Patchett's experience in the same magazine, ("How to Practice"), but it is, I'll bet, more common.
Marx tried to sell, among other possessions, several rolls of Trump toilet paper and "clothes that looked better on my couch than on me". She assesses the performance of eBay and Craigslist; local consignment shops; garage-sale sites. She consults experts for how to market her items. Ultimately, she says, "You'd probably make more money babysitting." And then there are the no-shows, the hagglers, and the fact that a number of online sites may be selling your data.
Some sources are NYC-centric, but others, like Facebook Marketplace—which has a Free Stuff section—are accessible to all.
The psychological distance between Ann Patchett and Patricia Marx is antipodean. Patchett, a Buddhist, has so little attachment disorder that she gifts lovely antiques without a pang, but they do go to friends and colleagues. Marx, contrary to that surname, is a low-key capitalist who initially tries to turn a buck from old handbags and heels, but ends up dragging a sofa to the street.
If you are lucky, you pass on your possessions to persons who need them, or are least amused (Donald Trump toilet paper?) But too often we offload our stuff on someone who still believes more is more, just perpetuating accumulation. I held a garage sale where two sisters fought over my vacuum cleaner; one hissed at the other, "You already have three."
Though not a Patchett purist, I prefer giving. For about twenty-five years, I stored a hand-loomed hat made by a British knitwear designer, Maggie White. I tried to wear it one chilly day a few months ago. Because it carried the memory of a painfully-ended relationship, I still did not enjoy it. A friend dropped by and mentioned that she had bought the same hat in the '90s, but hers was faded.
She happily accepted mine; the pleasure that gave me far outweighed any sum it might have fetched.
Comments
Sometimes I make the effort to find the perfect place to donate special items, a recorder and accessories went to an organization that provided used musical instruments to kids. Some special clothing went to a costume rental shop and a design program at a local college. And many books went to university book sales. I didn't mind putting in the time on those so that they could go to a good home. The more ordinary items go to a box at the curb on a sunny weekend ....I've never had to bring anything back into the house:-)
One thing I learned is that I am not ultimately attached to the things themselves. That did surprise me. But there are various reasons to continue downsizing, and I would much prefer that things find a home where they are needed or appreciated.
Even neighbours who do organise "garage" sales (few have actual garages) often seem to be doing so to chat and meet people; selling items just a fringe benefit.
Occasionally, I've offered things round on our neighbourhood WhatsApp group and enjoyed passing things on to neighbours who will enjoy them and give them a new life!
Most of my unwanted things go to charity shops, and I am always really careful to make sure everything is clean. Any of us who has ever volunteered to sort items donated to charity will know how welcome that is and I've sometimes been surprised by people who, absolutely scrupulous in other respects, seem not to think about the condition of their charity donations.
I've also had very good experiences with my local Freecycle group. So far, everything has gone the same day - I tend to put the stuff on the website early on Saturday morning, since people usually want to collect at some point over the weekend.
I was delighted to find that the Alzheimer's Society here in the UK takes old or broken costume and other jewellery, and even provides a freepost envelope to send it in. I've got rid of lots of nice but non-precious bits and bobs that I knew I would never wear again, and felt very happy that they were going to help this important cause.
My most difficult experience ever was trying to responsibly offload a clutch of old-fashioned mercury thermometers, which had been hanging around in drawers about the house. Not something you would *ever* want to throw away in your rubbish, obviously, but in the right hands the metal can easily be recycled.
I thought it would be a simple matter of taking them to my local chemist (pharmacist) and just handing them over for safe disposal. But no! Eventually, two years later and after exhausting all possible avenues, a new local government "hazardous waste" service became available to residents in my area. Oh, joy! I arranged collection and, very happily, waved them goodbye...
Jane in London
For some reason Walm*rde has been spamming me; I have never shopped there in my life. I know that people in smaller places may not have the choice. Spam isn't just annoying, it is also wasteful and expensive.
The site I've shared (French and English) is valid only in Canada, but I'm sure there are similar sites in other countries.
Mardel: We too have tax credits for qualifying charities and institutions. Some are surprisingly choosy, and you do not get a chariable donation receipt for places like Goodwill.
lagatta: It's especially satisfying when one can donate to an organization one respects. The curb is a pretty good strategy though I have seen picked over goods strewn about, whether by persons or animals I don't know.
Jane in London: I sold a couple of pieces of good jewellery on eBay, and fortunately it worked out really well. I made way more than the auction house estimate. (By the time I would have paid the seller's premium and the cost for photography for their catalog, plus paid tax on my profit, I was shocked how little would stick to me.) Currently I have a problem like your mercury one: six cans of metallic aluminum-colour spray paint. Habitat for Humanity does not accept this, and if I used the curb the graffiti "artists" would jump on it. I have to wait for a specialized disposal day, but even then am wary about setting it out in the garbage. Quite a few people go through garbage.
lagatta: Yes, spam is annoying! It's a different category of "too muchness" as it is an intrusion, not a voluntary act.
LITTLE FREE LIBRARIES to the rescue. With some embarrassment (figuring that no one would want, e.g. Donald Howard's book on Chaucer) I put a bunch of 1970s-80s academic books in a LFL. To my amazement, they were all gone in a few days. Every now and then I find a book I want to read (Henry Green). And every now and then, I have a chat with someone who is taking one of my donated books!
Many more books to go.
eva
Here, donors do not get a tax receipt for donated goods to Goodwill or similar. The local one amalgamated with a smaller local charity with a very good retraining program. I donate to them, and to the store lagatta mentioned. We do not have LFL but we do have little sidewalk book hutches sprinkled about the neighbourhoods, which people fill with free books. (At first I thought they might be for rabbits.)
This included an artificial Christmas tree...
It is a delicate issue due to the obvious health and safely issues, but at the same time, often due to a health problem that requires tact and patience, while not threatening the neighbours.
I too learned that “ museum quality” does not mean a museum wants it! Nor do many antique dealers. A friend has a high end store and I’ve been in there when a person per hour comes in trying to sell furniture or silver. She politely turns away 90 percent.
Wendy: Thank you for the info on For Days. Many of us probably know 1-800-GOTJUNK who say they recycle everything they can.
When a local collector passed away, he left his art collection to the town theatre for a fundraising auction.
Susan: When a thrift supports a charity we like (such as Montréal's Le Chaînon Welfare Association), that's pretty much all one needs for donating everyday items like clothing and housewares. Though some thrifts have an "upscale" rack or counter, they are not really equipped to deal with something like Lynn's parent's folk art, precious jewellery or silver. Apparently thrifts in some areas are stuffed with sets of fine china, few persons want to store formal place settings for 12 these days.
The problem territory seems to be "too good for a thrift/not appealing to a museum." This is the province of the flea market stall, not the cheap flea markets selling bongs, but the ones that have fine things... but those and the tiny shops tucked into corners of big cities are ever harder to find, When I cam in Paris I occasionally find one, a tiny space stuffed with vintage precious jewellery, clocks, some objets, maybe small pieces of furniture. Once, they seemed to be on every other block. No longer, and they are fascinating to browse,
I don't think referring to certain outdated or tacky items as ageing is necessarily rooted in ageism, though it is a common prejudice in Western societies.
We have used Freecycle for book collections and furniture. The only problem I've had is when a person eagerly says yes and then is a no show or continually changes the pick-up time. I now inform a person claiming the freebie that if they do not show up, it is then immediately offered to the next person who wanted it.
Anyone donating should be prudent about safety. We live in a building with a large lobby space, and that is where we meet. I especially appreciate your mention of being specific about the weight of the item, and condition