Swedish Death Cleaning: The living end

One of the Susanfriends (Suzanne, but it counts) decided to attack over twenty-five years' worth of accumulation in her two-bedroom-plus den apartment. I asked her if this was Swedish Death Cleaning; she flinched and said, "I'm not going anywhere for a while."

Though the primary purpose behind SDC is to unburden your heirs—to not leave a mess—it is also to enjoy life more while you're around. It's a Mari Kondo-meets-the-future approach. There are some twists to the Kondo canon. See the box at right below? It tells them what to pitch; I've just done mine.

Photo : Lessismoreorganizers.com  

But it's not for everyone; SDC gives Marilyn the creeps. Magpie Mar has neither a partner nor children to spare the effort. She says, "Let them junk it, who cares?" Listening to her, I realized not everything needs to be assigned to its next owner. I don't think I'll be looking down to scold, "What! You donated that chair to the Sally Ann?"  

When I relaxed about assigning everything, I began to address another front.

I have seen much estate-settlement mishegoss recently; the will is only the beginning. An onerous burden awaits the executor of an estate, often an adult child. I've been collecting stories from friends who suddenly are spending many hours each week dealing with banks, insurance companies, tax departments, lawyers, and heirs. 

My bank sent a letter about their full-monty estate settlement services, and I thought, Perfect! Problem is, their fee equalled that of a fancy car, and a hefty percentage needed to be paid up front. (What, I'm going to change my mind when I'm dead?) I learned there are cheaper pay-by-the-service options, and spoke to the son who will be the executor for the last parent.

But even before that point, someone has to step in and sort things out. Imagine you (and if you have a partner, both of you) departed this world tonight, but not at home. Ask yourself, Who will be dealing with the details?  How is this person going to know how to open a Kryptonite bike lock, where the wills are, what to feed the elderly dog?

I have heard about friends whose partners left them assets, but didn't think about the time it takes to access money. If you have a partner, keep a joint bank account with enough in it for—depending on your situation—immediate or exceptional expenses. (Depending on your jurisdiction, a credit card that is a second card on the partner's may not be accepted after the death of the primary cardholder.)

Prepare an electronic file. Print hard copy and keep in a binder; if you prefer only electronic format, keep it in a labelled envelope, not one one of many unlabelled thumb drives. Don't forget to update.

Suzanne discovered a gift to herself after SDC: she cleaned out so much that she found she needed less living space. In July, she moved to a light-filled 1-bedroom unit in her building, saving a nice chunk on rent and getting the bonus of recently-renovated kitchen.  

One last memory about "who will come to deal with this". Mary Anne asked me to rush to her apartment in New York if she died suddenly. She pointed to a bureau drawer that held intimate accoutrements and said, "Make sure you get these out of here before my mother sees them!" 

Over thirty years later, she's still here, her mother is not and I'm relieved I don't have to beat Mrs. M. to the punch, because the border's now closed. So that's something else to think about: if you need a discreet hand, pick a confidante close to home.