"But Will It Make You Happy?"
Does stuff make you happy? Stephanie Rosenbloom's nuanced analysis of the current research about the connection between consumption and happiness is here.
Her key points:
1. Do instead of collect.
Spending money for an experience– classes, travel, concert tickets– produces longer-lasting satisfaction than spending money on another bag or sweater.
2. Spend on leisure.
In one study, the only category of consumption that is positively correlated to happiness is leisure (vacations, entertainment, sports and equipment), because that spending typically strengthens social bonds, which in turn helps amplify happiness.
3. Make it last.
Remember the kid on the playground who made his jawbreaker last for all of recess? Longevity contributes to perceived happiness; therefore, experiences provide more happiness because you can't "consume in one gulp".
4. Look forward.
Anticipation increases happiness, so book that trip months in advance instead of buying a last-minute ticket.
5. Have less to enjoy more.
Having an embarrassment of riches reduced the ability to reap enjoyment from life's smaller pleasures, like eating a Lindt Fleur de Sel chocolate bar.
I don't see the possessions/experience choice as an either-or proposition, and feel a jolt of joy when I buy yoga classes, contribute to a charity I revere or treat a friend to a visit to Body Blitz with me. (Oh yes...and occasionally I buy pearls.)
I'm far less acquisitive than a decade or two ago; are you? The notion of having less stuff, more time (the life shift described by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin in "Your Money or Your Life") resonates.
And this 2004 TED talk, by Dan Gilbert, Harvard psychologist and author of "Stumbling on Happiness" challenges the idea that we won't be happy if we don't get what we want in an entertaining 20-minute video.Are you happier now than you were five years ago? What do you consume that contributes to your happiness?
Comments
I don't believe that spending money on an activity instead of a product necessary brings more happiness. I do agree though that it should be a balanced mix of both: what good is a closet full of clothes if you don't have the money to go out and wear them?
In the past five years I've definitely simplified my life. I noticed that I was no longer happy, ecstatic even after I bought something.
There was a time when I was positively bouncing with joy for days after I bought myself a CD of my favourite singer or a scarf...
I no longer go to the shopping centers on a weekly basis, I've scaled it down to two times a month maximum.
I've stopped buying glossy, trendy fashion magazines where everything was an add for some product they wanted to convince me I had to have in order to be happy.
These days I find joy in buying fabric (I practically stopped buying clothes) and beading supplies.
And I've also scaled down my cosmetics and make-up purchases significantly.
I'd add one thing to the "Happiness" list: a good social network. Feeling connected to people certainly increases my sense of well-being.
I'm striving to teach the "stuff doesn't make you happy" mantra to my 8-year-old daughter, the only child in a dual-income household and the only grandchild on both sides of the family. It's a tall order.
Consumption of goods and consumption of experience, ie travel, can add happiness to our lives. But so does raising a family, productive work and a network of friends.
I love to shop and to travel but I wouldn't want to do them all the time because I also get joy from simple things such as going to my job everyday, hanging out with my children, reading a good book and working in the garden with Mr. BHB.
I agree with your points...I'd add giving back or volunteering to amp up the happiness meter.
I do allow myself treats...Hermes, cashmere, pearls but they are saved for and anticipated for months ahead!
Advertisers really want us to buy impulsively...and often...just say no!
http://tinyurl.com/6j5f4x7
Of potential value (it inspired me) - a good friend of mine sent this link (at the Guardian UK) to an excerpt of a commencement speech by David Foster Wallace wherein he reminds us that we have the power of choice in how we manage our reactions to the world every day: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/20/fiction
Also, getting rid of the most environmentally and economically overwhelming "stuff", such as cars and large single-family housing, requires a degree of social organisation. Today I'm writing from Amsterdam, a prosperous place but where it is perfectly possible to live carfree, and where most families, even middle-class ones, live in pleasantly designed multi-household housing.
I disagree with Belle de Ville that participation in experience is necessarily just "consumption" to be counterpoised to productive work such as one's paid job and raising a family. Travel can mean just reposing on a beach, or getting sloshed at Club Med, but it can also involve culturally enriching experiences. And I don't feel any less productive or useful due to my just saying no to raising a family.
For larger and more interesting items such as shoes,jewelry, etc. enjoying the process that goes into the challenge of finding them is part of the happiness of owning them. That is why I keep a few items that provide me with meaningful and happy memories of how they were procured (on that shopping trip with so and so; during that snowstorm, etc.)
For some,the constant change of mind and search for direction in their closet is the result of actually craving the challenge again and again - hence never feeling satisfied. Perhaps they need to create challenges in another area of their life so that the consuming one can rest.
When I find something I really enjoy using again again for many years the happiness is not a one shot deal - it is, perhaps, more like the happiness gotten from a theater outing, trip or other experiential consumption. It stays with me.
Pseu: There's nothing like a health crisis to lend clarity (and I'm grateful to hear it's passed.) One of my friends who nearly died and fully recovered at 50 now accosts us and says, "Are you doing what you want to be doing?"
Jane W.: Kids are sitting ducks for that "more is more" message and we too had to do some curbing with the grandparents.
Belle: Connection to the natural world- gardening, hiking or just sitting in a park-always makes me tap into contentment too. Thanks for adding that.
hostess: I am continually amazed by how good volunteering/service feels.
Fuji: To me the greatest thing is the time and freedom to enjoy the modest pleasures you mention. And thanks for the link, nails many of the reasons we live without a TV, and it's good fun, too.
HB: Thank you for that link, and others will, too. "The wanties" is apt. I worry about being too consumer-focused w/ this blog, but others have reminded me, it sometimes helps wise choices.
lagatta: Thanks for the counterbalance. The better the social infrastructure, the better life is for everyone- and we do take clean water, for example,largely for granted.
I don't read Belle's comment the same as you; I took from it the notion that one can be happy by contributing, as well as by consuming. (Travel that requires paying to get there, whether to get sloshed on a beach or work alongside whomever is filling Mother Teresa's role these days, is still consumption.)
Chicatanyage: That lightness is such a pleasure. Comments like yours encouraged me a year or so ago and I'm sincerely grateful.
Demi-pointe: Thanks for the nuanced thought I have come to appreciate from you. The memories embedded in the object sometimes are more prized than the object. You have helped me understand why I "can't" get rid of some things I don't use very often.
The actual experience of consumption is far less compelling than it once was; perhaps a product of being older, or wearing a size that's not easily available in better clothes (14-16) or just being less interested in the latest shiny thing.
It was an expensive evening. I could have bought pearls with that money! But there was a moment during the play where I said to myself, 'this is what I always hoped my life would be like.'
I need to remember that next time I'm dropping the same amount at a clearance sale, where I'm usually buying items I have near-duplicates of at home.
I am also willing to spend more money on skin and hair products that really work, as I've found it a better investment than cheap stuff that gets thrown away because it doesn't do what I want it to. No more "product graveyards."
But the thing that makes me the happiest, and that I've made more of a commitment to this year, is learning and personal growth. The money I spend to go away for a weekend workshop comes back to me in spades when I find myself applying what I've learned in the day-to-day.
And discovering that I am able to do things that I told myself I couldn't do is pure joy -- I was never so happy as when I took guitar lessons a few years ago and discovered that I can in fact read music and play an instrument! (And I'm thinking now that I want to find a teacher again.)
I agree with Pseu about the social network. That's more important than anything else.
Susan: My neighbour told me her approach, and I liked it: One year she focuses on the house, does the repairs and maintenance, the next year, she takes a trip. Of course there are always emergencies!
Susan: And I would add, being there for elders, whether in one's family or community. This is what Pseu meant about the social network, I think.
Fuji: When my children were infants an older woman told me her son still delighted her at 30, with all the things he was learning. So that never ends, and though we always will be there for them, I enjoy their independence.
I'm working in a library right now; I love being surrounded by books.
Learning new things is very good for the middle-aged or older brain. Language learning for one.
Access to clean water for drinking and washing, and to water for agriculture, are certainly problematic nowadays, and becoming a source of conflict in many countries.