Diamonds by daylight
s. asked, in a comment: "Is it vulgar to wear big diamonds on a day to day basis? I always cringe when I see massive "ice" at 10AM in the local Starbucks - I was raised that honkin' jewels are to be worn only for evening occasions - but maybe this is just an antiquated notion on my part. Or maybe I'm cringing because many of these women seem vulgar in countless ways, and the bling is in fact the least offensive of their crimes."
I've seen that too.The diamond rings worn for day seem to have grown bigger; what's the cause of carat creep?
When I was a tween, a my sister's friends who received a half-carat engagement ring got "Ooooh" reactions.
By the time I graduated from university, the 1ct ring ruled. There will still plenty under that, but a full carat was the hand-grabber ring.
Decades passed, young women watched Sex and the City, read about JLo's double-digit carats, and the ERs got even bigger.
One woman told me her brothers had a little chat with her fiancé and told him, "Go big or go home." She showed up at work waving a nearly 3ct boulder, and earned the nickname Nugget Girl.
The women with under 1ct ERs got upgrade fever. One told me, "I don't want to have to replace the diamond again." In anticipation of "diamond shrink"- when the ring that once thrilled now looks bitty- jewelers offered a deal: buy the modest ring now, and trade-in for purchase value when you upgrade to a bigger stone.
Vulgar is in the eye of the beholder. One definition of vulgar is "Lacking in cultivation, perception, or taste; ostentatious or excessive in expenditure or display." A five-carat skating rink is going to get you noticed as you hoist your caramel frappachino. I live in a big city,so wonder about the wisdom of wearing the ring on the street or in the subway.
Not everyone is captivated by size. Jennifer, deeply a ladyperson, deterred her fiancé from buying a rock, and chose a vintage three-stone ring, a modest but very fine emerald flanked by two diamonds. Her guy could have taken his pick of Tiffany's finest, but Jennifer knew elegance is not measured by carat weight.
Some people can pull off bigger diamonds in daylight. My GF Iris, married to a true Mr. Big, is one. Iris wears only a plain gold wedding band on her hands, no necklace or bracelet... but if you look closely under her chin-length bob you will see a pair of D flawless 2ct studs, worn by day with her sober Armani suit.
How big to wear by day? (Not a dilemma I'll ever face.) It's a matter of taste, personal style and what message you want to send to the world. Genevieve Dariaux, in her charming book, "A Guide to Elegance" (written in the early '60s) advises women not to wear furs and big jewels by day, lest they look like a mistress, and telegraph to the world their louche status.
But Rihanna can buy her own bling, merci, and rocks this daytime travel ensemble of denim, diamonds and fur.
Though we don't have to think, as RiRi may, "What size diamonds shall I wear today?", there is still plenty of pressure to bling out. The beleaguered diamond industry bellows that size of stone equates to depth of love, and Beyoncé sings, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it"- and hers is the size of a small country.
So, s., this is not an exactly an answer, but a reflection on why some women want, and therefore wear, diamonds bigger than a Venti lid.
I've seen that too.The diamond rings worn for day seem to have grown bigger; what's the cause of carat creep?
When I was a tween, a my sister's friends who received a half-carat engagement ring got "Ooooh" reactions.
By the time I graduated from university, the 1ct ring ruled. There will still plenty under that, but a full carat was the hand-grabber ring.
Decades passed, young women watched Sex and the City, read about JLo's double-digit carats, and the ERs got even bigger.
One woman told me her brothers had a little chat with her fiancé and told him, "Go big or go home." She showed up at work waving a nearly 3ct boulder, and earned the nickname Nugget Girl.
The women with under 1ct ERs got upgrade fever. One told me, "I don't want to have to replace the diamond again." In anticipation of "diamond shrink"- when the ring that once thrilled now looks bitty- jewelers offered a deal: buy the modest ring now, and trade-in for purchase value when you upgrade to a bigger stone.
Vulgar is in the eye of the beholder. One definition of vulgar is "Lacking in cultivation, perception, or taste; ostentatious or excessive in expenditure or display." A five-carat skating rink is going to get you noticed as you hoist your caramel frappachino. I live in a big city,so wonder about the wisdom of wearing the ring on the street or in the subway.
Not everyone is captivated by size. Jennifer, deeply a ladyperson, deterred her fiancé from buying a rock, and chose a vintage three-stone ring, a modest but very fine emerald flanked by two diamonds. Her guy could have taken his pick of Tiffany's finest, but Jennifer knew elegance is not measured by carat weight.
Some people can pull off bigger diamonds in daylight. My GF Iris, married to a true Mr. Big, is one. Iris wears only a plain gold wedding band on her hands, no necklace or bracelet... but if you look closely under her chin-length bob you will see a pair of D flawless 2ct studs, worn by day with her sober Armani suit.
How big to wear by day? (Not a dilemma I'll ever face.) It's a matter of taste, personal style and what message you want to send to the world. Genevieve Dariaux, in her charming book, "A Guide to Elegance" (written in the early '60s) advises women not to wear furs and big jewels by day, lest they look like a mistress, and telegraph to the world their louche status.
But Rihanna can buy her own bling, merci, and rocks this daytime travel ensemble of denim, diamonds and fur.Though we don't have to think, as RiRi may, "What size diamonds shall I wear today?", there is still plenty of pressure to bling out. The beleaguered diamond industry bellows that size of stone equates to depth of love, and Beyoncé sings, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it"- and hers is the size of a small country.
So, s., this is not an exactly an answer, but a reflection on why some women want, and therefore wear, diamonds bigger than a Venti lid.
Comments
I have a pair of CZ studs from Talbot's that are always being mistaken for the real thing. They're a pretty impressive 2 ct each.
I have a friend who blings up daily and it suits her, but on me I feel ridiculous in it so can't pull it off.
The other day, a friend of mine from New Zealand came to stay, she's 20 years old than me, and was wearing 2ct diamond earrings, and someone else though they were cz, as they assumed that they were costume, as most in this part of the world would get around in cz for everyday. My friend said afterwards she thought it was funny - and said - I bought them for myself as a present after a rather trying time in her life.
Pater bought me diamond studs a Christmas or two ago after I'd expressed some interest -- diamonds no longer seem "too" to me, but rather "just right," classic. And now I admit that I wish he'd gone a bit more spendy and got bigger ones for more impact. But I'd like to help get all my kids into their own homes and we're still helping two with school (education and homes seem worthwhile heirlooms to pass along), so I'll rock my little rocks for now . . . (although I have wondered if there are jewellers who would let me trade them up, as with the engagement rings you discuss . . .
One note about settings, I tend to like more clean, modern channel settings, so that's how my ring was made. I've since learned that this type of setting unfortunately does not show off deeper mine-cut stones to their best advantage. So I have been thinking about re-doing the setting on my ring.
nanflan: For me cut is way more important than carat; my favourite diamonds are the ones you can see from across a room. Maybe you would show us your latest sewing project, worn with your ring?
Imogen: I have had friends deliberately choose smaller size for studs b/c no one would believe bigger ones were real.
ma: For the same reasons, also did not have an ER. Perhaps same jeweler would allow trade in? Many years ago received studs I thought were big, felt self-conscious wearing- now seem smallish. That's 'diamond shrink'!
Pseu: IMO resetting your stone would be satisfying, worthwhile project. Some vintage-style settings are still very clean and simple. Set in platinum to fit the era of the stone.
Jewelers will say a diamond 'spreads like 2ct' when the weight is less- more typically found in diamonds produced for the European market. Other cuts like the Asscher require more weight, so it will not look as large as round brilliant cut even though the carat weight is the same.
My scorn for diamonds was solidified when my ex (who makes jewellery) explained that the value of diamonds is almost entirely artificially created by the diamond monopoly and very good marketing ("Doesn't she deserve two months of your salary?"). Not to mention, the human rights violations practiced by the diamond industry in particular turn me off them.
All: For those who would enjoy diamonds now, and want to avoice 'blood diamonds': buy Canadian (your best bet, and you can get beautiful stones) or insist on Kimberly Process Certification Scheme (KPCS) documentation- though this process has recently been under review.
I didn't want a diamond when I became engaged. I did and still do prefer colored stones. I especially didn't want a solitaire as it seemed so standard and predictable and wasn't really my taste. I did get a standard diamond engagement ring of one carat, when most of my husband's colleague's wives were sporting much bigger stones and I wore it but never loved it.
I sometimes would experience "rock envy" as well, but I really don't want a big ring and I often just wear the wedding band and leave off the ring with the stone.
For our 18th anniversary my husband gave me a new set, an emerald which is bezel set in a wide band and I adore it. It is very simple and plain and modern and I suspect that is why I love it. When he noticed that I no longer wore the diamond (because I loved the other more) he reset the diamond for our 20th in a very modern setting which we both chose. Again, a very wide band with the stone bezel-set off center. I like this much more than the original, even though the bezel setting means the diamond does not stand out and sparkle as much.
People don't comment on how sparkly the diamond is anymore, which actually makes me happy. And someone one asked me if I regretted not having a diamond (when I wore the emerald to some event). Actually it feels kind of sinful to have both, but in a good way.
LOL! This conversation reminds me of the time my mother and I met an old friend who had just returned to San Francisco from Denmark, where her petroleum engineer husband had unexpectedly died. Over the lunch table we could see the headlight on her left hand, a diamond so vast mere mortals dared not speculate on its size. (This was in the days pre-CZ.) Driving home, my mother said to me, "That thing looked just like a piece of glass!"
And it did. It was oh-so-real, but in the context of daylight and a ladies' tearoom, it looked as fake as something picked up off the Buffums costume jewelry counter.
When I work with a young man who is contemplating a big rock for his fiancee, I usually ask him what does he plan to give his future wife their 10th or 20 wedding anniversary if she gets the huge rock when she is 20 something years old.
And...I think that I would prefer a big Alexandrite to a big white diamond. White diamonds are not rare...even the big ones...while Alexandrites are truly magical.
Belle: Good advice! Would rather see a fine diamond of modest size (like Eight Star) than a big dead rock. And love coloured gems! A pearl also makes a wonderful ER.
Duchesse, I say again how much I love your posts and thoughtful insights!