Language: Not cute
One of my profs forbade the use of "nice" in a written assignment unless one was describing a piece of fish. I dislike "nice" less than "cute", when used without discernment.
There are two reasons why I wish the adjective were used less.
First, there is the matter of accuracy when describing attire. One dictionary definition is, "pretty in a dainty or delicate way; adorable, sweet, quaint; whimsical, charming." (A second meaning, more often used in British English, is "trying to be clever".)
A friend called this dress, worn by the Duchess of Sussex, "cute". Her ecru Givenchy does not display the characteristics of cute. In fact, it's far from it. (And don't call the Queen "cute", either; I'm getting to that.)
Another acquaintance used the term when trying on a classic navy peacoat. Perhaps we could build more vocabulary and stop using the term for everything we like.
Was the habit imprinted in adolescence, when we called boys and clothes "cute" with equal passion? My teen years were one big Cute-a-Thon.
"Cute" applied to clothing summons images of sweetness (bows and ruffles, puff sleeves, ditsy florals), whimsy (prints of ice cream cones, cartoon animals), and other jeune-fille effects.
Cute style is naive. A prime example is the Japanese kawaii aesthetic, a deliberately childlike look originally adopted by 15 to 18-year-old girls. I would rather wear a gorilla suit.
I can accept "cute" to describe a pair of jeans because it is code for "makes your butt look good."
The second reason I'm fed up with it: When "cute" is applied to an adult woman, it has an infantalizing effect. Petite women are targets for the label, but I've never heard them contentedly self-identify with this term past their mid-20s. It's hard to assume power in any realm of adult life when you are described as "cute".
Elder women are especially prone to being called "cute", as in "Oh, your gran is so cute!" Back to Queen Elizabeth: I wouldn't say she is cute but will concede she looks sprightly ("energetic and in good health").
The young of a species (e.g., babies, kittens, puppies and my favourite, owlets) are universally thought to be cute, and that cuteness releases dopamine in the observer's brain. We want to hug, cuddle, even pinch or squeeze (known as "cute aggression") the adorable little creature. There is an evolutionary protective advantage to being cute at that vulnerable stage of life.
Why the "cute" label rolls around at the other end of life may have to do with perceived helplessness and frailty. It is also inherently sexist. I have rarely heard a male elder referred to as a "cute little old man", and certainly not within earshot of the subject.
So yeah, I'm not cute. I am, however, a forthright grownup and this ubiquitous term, applied to everything from a coat to a Queen, riles me more than hearing another overused compliment, "genius".
I told the friend who called the Duchess's dress "cute" that "cute" was a poodle skirt. She laughed and said, "Well, I like poodle skirts, too!"
There are two reasons why I wish the adjective were used less.
First, there is the matter of accuracy when describing attire. One dictionary definition is, "pretty in a dainty or delicate way; adorable, sweet, quaint; whimsical, charming." (A second meaning, more often used in British English, is "trying to be clever".)
A friend called this dress, worn by the Duchess of Sussex, "cute". Her ecru Givenchy does not display the characteristics of cute. In fact, it's far from it. (And don't call the Queen "cute", either; I'm getting to that.)
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| Neither is cute |
Another acquaintance used the term when trying on a classic navy peacoat. Perhaps we could build more vocabulary and stop using the term for everything we like.
Was the habit imprinted in adolescence, when we called boys and clothes "cute" with equal passion? My teen years were one big Cute-a-Thon.
"Cute" applied to clothing summons images of sweetness (bows and ruffles, puff sleeves, ditsy florals), whimsy (prints of ice cream cones, cartoon animals), and other jeune-fille effects.
 |
| Kawaii t-shirt |
I can accept "cute" to describe a pair of jeans because it is code for "makes your butt look good."
The second reason I'm fed up with it: When "cute" is applied to an adult woman, it has an infantalizing effect. Petite women are targets for the label, but I've never heard them contentedly self-identify with this term past their mid-20s. It's hard to assume power in any realm of adult life when you are described as "cute".
Elder women are especially prone to being called "cute", as in "Oh, your gran is so cute!" Back to Queen Elizabeth: I wouldn't say she is cute but will concede she looks sprightly ("energetic and in good health").
The young of a species (e.g., babies, kittens, puppies and my favourite, owlets) are universally thought to be cute, and that cuteness releases dopamine in the observer's brain. We want to hug, cuddle, even pinch or squeeze (known as "cute aggression") the adorable little creature. There is an evolutionary protective advantage to being cute at that vulnerable stage of life.
Why the "cute" label rolls around at the other end of life may have to do with perceived helplessness and frailty. It is also inherently sexist. I have rarely heard a male elder referred to as a "cute little old man", and certainly not within earshot of the subject.
So yeah, I'm not cute. I am, however, a forthright grownup and this ubiquitous term, applied to everything from a coat to a Queen, riles me more than hearing another overused compliment, "genius".
I told the friend who called the Duchess's dress "cute" that "cute" was a poodle skirt. She laughed and said, "Well, I like poodle skirts, too!"
Comments
Another over-used word is hero. Now everyone's a hero including the people in the recent London Bridge attack. No question they showed both bravery and courage, good qualities to have in such a situation. But true heroism involves more than that and is a rare thing.
Venasque: I agree about "hero", though I see it mostly in print. Another word I believe is overused and misapplied is "trauma". Someone recently described not getting into a prestigious school as "trauma".
I'm the opposite of you; I'll tell anyone my age, because I am working for some social changes that affect the aged and I am one of that cohort. When I hear, "Oh, you don't look 71!" I hear the unwitting ageism behind that, as they hasten to assure me that I am still OK showing my face in public. I want to reply, "Well, what if I did?" and it will just take the right moment should I hear that again.
All young people are attractive, even beautiful. Their lithe, young bodies and luminous skin are gorgeous in and of themselves, never mind other physical attributes. But an aging face can be beautiful in a different way, and if not beautiful, interesting, in a way a young face cannot. The bone structure is still there, enhanced by the joys and sorrows of life. All it takes to see it, is to look.
I tend to avoid stating my exact age on the net for the same reason I don't indicate my address or phone number unless absolutely necessary for official purposes. No problem among people I know, unless they are blabbermouths.
I think I can call Livia cute, though I'd say mignonne (the French is more precise and less overused). But she's a cat.
painting with fire: You still get "girl"?! Swat 'em with your paintbrush! I still refer to my "girlfriends" but it is not in the same register.
Venasque: Oh yes, and for me, it is the smarmy and ageist "x years young."
Maria: If your young adult daughter has “genuine regard” for older people, perhaps it is time to share the idea that calling them “cute”, (whether to their faces or not), does not convey that. Not speaking of your daughter here, but I have also heard young adults use “ cute” as a mild eye-roll, when referring to an elder who mistakenly mangles a name or term: “Oh, your grandma thinks it’s ‘Justin Beeper’, she’s so cute.”
Here in Britain, we don't use "cute" as much as you do across the pond. It tends to be more limited to the baby animal context or, (for young(er) people) to indicate that someone is personally attractive.
The adjective "sweet" often carries with it a hint of sarcasm or condescension here, particularly when applied to an item of adults' clothing, and so needs to be deployed with great care...
Jane
Hummingbird, Duchesse and I live in a French-speaking place and petite is normal. It is the poor men who don't have a positive word for short. And remember, the Queen is about our height. Don't know your age and it is absolutely none of our business, but the Queen has two children considerably older than me, and I'm closest in age to that disgusting son (I'm older than him).