When the body changes

Stylists advise women to use a tailor so that their clothes fit perfectly. Fine, but I think there is a related, pre-emptory act: buy the right size.

If that size is larger, women would rather replace a knee than move up. If she can lock in that size via more stretch in the fabric, she's interested. We cling to the dumbest aspect of vanity, the number. We may have learned not to articulate negative judgements, but have them just the same.

Or, there's the vanity-size route. Some brands cut with more room than others. Jeans from NYJD, Talbots, Gap and INC, especially in 'boyfriend', 'curvy' or 'relaxed' styles, allow us to maintain the gentle Myth of Eternal Size.

Rachel, who found her figure had filled out at its most pearish point, moved from misses to plus petite for trousers. They no longer pull across her stomach or abrade at the inner thighs—but she takes a stitch ripper to the label the moment she brings them home.

I shopped with Dianne, who was downcast when the skinny Yoga jeans she tried in her usual size were tighter than expected. She refused to even look at the next size, hauled us to the lingerie department, and bought a pair of Spanx Higher Power Shorts. We went back for her size, which just zipped after the Spanking.

The day when the size up becomes a good idea is hardly fun. Aside from one's tender ego, there is the cost of replacement, even though one might wonder, Did they change their sizing? And maybe so; it is not always you. Some brands are cutting corners and their popular styles don't fit as they did. Customer feedback for J. Crew's cashmere sweaters consistently tells them to stop cheating inches off the length.

But once you're in the Passage, most often the reckoning is due to a body shift: Your weight is within your usual range, but you might have more midriff, or a larger bust.

Lauren Hutton once said that every decade, she had to deal with such a change, and if Hutton acknowledges that, why don't we? This photo, taken in 2016 (she was age 73 then) is unretouched and shows both her body and trademark casual chic.



In 2018, she walked the runway for Valentino in typically minimal makeup—and magenta gloves.

Photo: Vouge.com

You are in Hutton's club if your dress suddenly seems shorter (and it did not shrink in the wash), your jacket feels constricting, or an unstructured shoulder makes you look slumped. .

Dianne is proud that she has been the same size for thirty-plus years and still buys the brands she wore as a young adult, like French Connection and Guess. "The trick is, wear two pairs of Spanx at once!" she said.

A few women I know do carry the same contours they had when they moved into their first apartments, but most of us have changed. I prefer to skip the shapewear, buy the size that fits—and Hutton it up in a pair of pink gloves!








Comments

Laura J said…
All true! Some random thoughts:1) not staying the same size means those investment purchases no longer work so being careful about what might change. So I would avoid expensive trousers but opt for a $$$ scarf. 2)even one’s shoe size may change!! 3) while I was never taken too much with the size game I have found that shopping second hand means truly looking at the fit and not the label. I don’t know why this is so....
Finally, I so agree with the subtle shrinking of clothes—all those 3/4 sleeves, cropped, and no seam allowances not to mention how sheer some fabrics are...
Duchesse said…
Laura J: Trousers with enough fabric to let out a seam! Have not seen since I used a typewriter. And I am not talking necessarily to weight gain, but to muscular- skeletal changes—the shifts in body proportion, including height. It can happen almost overnight...Harriet bought a pair of pricy shoes on sale, off season, and by the next winter they were way too tight.
Laura J said…
Oh oh! I did the same with winter boots! Grrrr rrr
LauraH said…
Love those pink gloves! And it's nice to see photos of Lauren Hutton, that Valentino coat and dress are wonderful on her.

Since I've always been on the heavy side, this issue didn't come up strongly for me. The Passage shift just meant more of the same re trying to find a good fit. I've worn anything from 10 to 16 over the last few years and have learned to buy a bit bigger and then get them altered to fit, especially around the waist. You're so right, there is no hope of buying with the idea of letting out seams...they just don't exist anymore!

Pardon my rant but I recently tried on a Patagonia rain jacket that made me see red. I went up to their largest size, XL and it was still tight around the hips. But they widened the shoulders and lengthened the arms by about 4"...and I have wide shoulders and long arms! It was hanging off me, a truly bizarre fit.
Anne said…
I was really interested that you included shoulders in this! I'm overweight, my weight has shifted (I'm actually much thinner in my collarbones/neck/chest, but much rounder in the midsection), but I keep trying on unstructured cardigans (because they're so comfy and warm!) and I look like I'm slumping! It never occurred to me it might be the mid-life slump!
Mary said…
The sizing of women's clothing is so off-the-chart ridiculous these days as to have no meaning. But still, as you note, women too often equate their worth/value with their clothing size--small is good, large is bad. Heaven forbid, XL. Add to the sizing problem, substandard fabrics, cut-rate designs and slipshod manufacturing processes means one is hard pressed to find decent, affordable clothing that fits--especially if your body seems to shift more often than the earth's crust.
Laura J said…
LauraH: I too have noticed that with several sport brand(Icebreaker,MEC e.g.). It is very frustrating!
Seattle Sews said…
When I was about 15, I bought 2 pairs of shorts (different colors) of the same brand from the same rack in the same store. Tried on for fit. One was a size 7, one a size 13. Both fit my body the same way. (So much for the size label. Lesson not forgotten.)

I've noticed that something that fit me when I was younger, a bit smaller and size 10 now is a size 6 or 8 in the same label for the same item. Vanity labels!
I confess I had the same problem with that lovely Lolë raincoat, when it was finally re-issued in a colour I wear (Budapest red, if I recall). Bit too tight in the bosom,though it fit fine everywhere else. It actually "fit", but I'd be wearing a fine puffy jacket beneath it in Amsterdam.
materfamilias said…
I love that photo of Lauren Hutton -- how heartening to see a model/actress willing to show the truth about a still-beautiful but aging body. I also really like this sentence of yours: "We may have learned not to articulate negative judgements, but have them just the same" -- Yes!!
Duchesse said…
Seattle Sews: Vintage dealers know that too, and sometimes list size as “ labelled size 10 (1965)” or similar to indicate that.

lagatta: It is not only the bust, the arm is narrow too. At least mine, bought a few years ago is.

materfamilias: Thank you! I liked that she looks so comfortable.
Beth said…
Love the Lauren Hutton photo -- a welcome reality check. Excellent post that made me see some of my own follies.
In case any of you want to read this essay by Catherine Texier

https://longreads.com/2019/10/23/im-72-so-what/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Duchesse said…
lagatta: Thanks for this and there is the bonus of links to other interesting-soundingvessays at bottom of this. Texier’s sound moe like a collection of thoughts about ageing, but also death and family relationships. I was discomfited by her “ this is not happening to me” stance, but to each her own.

As one of mt wisest friends observed, “ Past 60 is high time to get right with your past and your present”.
Duchesse said…
Who a lot of typos in my comment but it is probably still intelligible.
Yes, there is a lot of denial in her essay, and other quirks. I also fail to see why she restricts her choices to Manhattan and central Paris. I'd rather live in France than the US due to healthcare and good public transport (intercity as well as local) though I'm well aware of the downsides there. Think I'd opt for a smaller city, but one with both cultural/intellectual life and good healthcare. In Lyon, for example, one is quickly in Paris via the TGV, as well as nearby parts of Italy where I have friends.

I just submitted it as a thought-provoking article. Another criticism is that not all femmes d'un certain âge are as interested in pursuing romance/sex, and that is fine too; to each her (or his, etc) own.
neki desu said…
thank you for the hutton photo. after that she's won more stars in my girl power hero list.
Susan B said…
I wasn't able to access the link, but yes, agree with the sentiment. "It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head" (Sally Kempton). And love this photo of LH, looking so bien dans sa peau.
Duchesse said…
Susan B: Which link, please? All links in this post are presently working for me.
Susan B said…
The "not to articulate negative judgements" one. I get an error that I do not have permission to view the page.

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