Scrunchies and other "Should I stills"
If anyone hasn't seen the series of Hillary Tumblr Texts, it is here, and a hoot.
But back to scrunchies, the most divisive hair issue among women since Sinead shaved.
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| Cyndi Lauper, 2012 |
I don't have to make the fraught decision, but if I had another ten or twelve inches to hold back, a wad of elasticated fabric would not be my choice. Like leggings worn as pants, nameplate necklaces or one-shoulder tees, scrunchies shone when Girls Just Wan(ted) to Have Fun. We still wanna, but even Cyndi has changed her accessories.
I'll hear from devoted scrunchettes. Fine! I have my own affection for things not exactly à la mode: Blundstones, Hermès carrés, and (some have charged) pearls.
I propose, when we find ourselves clinging to dependable but perhaps passé items:
1. We are defensive about our style holdouts. Be curious about why, then, if this is your deep identity, just stop defending. No only-to-garden, no bad-hair-day; no not-in-public, just "Do Whatcha Wanna, hang on the cor-nah", as they say in New Orleans.
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| Tapering off |
2. Break the habit. Put it away for 21 days; find an alternative. If it still exerts a magnetic pull after the three-week furlough, see #1.
To taper off: the rope ponytail holder; for a bigger departure, try a thick coated elastic, perhaps with a discreet accent like this tortoise model.
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| Cold turkey |
3. Think of your style beacons; ask if they would wear it today. You are not imitating, just learning from stellar examples. Mine is Jane Birkin; I've seen her with chopsticks and small tortoise clips, no scrunchie. If the answer is "No, she wouldn't and I don't care", see #1.
4. Keep your friends out of it. Unless into a bottle of Pinot Noir, those who love you won't say "Give it up, honey", and if they blurt the truth once it's emptied, you'll write it off.
A woman at this level of public service is a target for micro-examination and projection, but I'll add my assessment: even if I didn't know who this was, I'd say Hillz looks of-the-moment in her glasses, soft black ensemble and bold jewelry. She can appear bland and stiff, but here, she's chic. Once again, the power of a good pair of bipartisan shades!
And if she were wearing the same thing with a scrunchie, not so current.
Comments
But what I do have a strong opinion about is that last photo! Love Hillz, love Rachel Maddow, and, as a mother of teenage daughters, love Girl Power! My 17 year old is studying the 1960s era in history class (yeah, I know). She came home last week & asked me if I knew who Phyllis Schlafly was; I used some impolite terms in explaining that woman's claim to fame. Then last night she told me they had studied Betty Friedan and "the problem with no name". It's hard for kids her age to comprehend that women had so few choices back in the day. What she finds worrisome is that she has two close friends, very bright girls, whose ambitions seem to extend to getting through college as quickly as possible so they can get married and stay home raising kids. No expectations of an interesting, exciting career from those two. My kid told me, "thanks for raising me feminist, Mom!". I'm so proud!
I mostly go for the claw clips now when I need my hair out of the way, but I would wear a scrunchie. Probably not to work, but out and about running errands? Sure.
I worry that as soon as women of a certain age declare something "out", it has actually been out so long it's back in.
Case in point, here are some scrunchies from F21.
http://tinyurl.com/bs4oqzb
PS Am I the only one having increasing difficulty with Blogger's letter verification? I swear I can't figure out what some of those letters are meant to be.
rb: I'm aware of the young wearing them, but I am also aware of the irony in that gesture. An '80s staple looks entirely different on a 20-someting than it does on a 50-something.
SewingLibrarian: The carré will always have both its more conventional wearers (that's us) and its outliers like the young man I saw at the market, using one to support a broken arm. I'm also liking one draped over the back of a slipper chair. Sometimes I have to enter the word verification three times to get it right!
My "should I still" is "Should I still go out without makeup on?" I hardly ever wear makeup, but I do think I look much better with it on, more polished and, yes, more "mature," but in the sense of being a grownup.
Why is it, though, that scarves tied in my hair look cool?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/fashion/fashion-blog/2012/apr/12/makeup-no-makeup-samantha-brick
Rubi: Another Hillary hair accessory! I dislike the hard plastic band, they're for little girls. Like the broad fabric headbands that women wear almost like a scarf with their hair up or in a low bun. Indian-style, across the forehead: for functional use
(e.g. tennis) only.
Flash forward some 15 years later: my sister-in-law, the youngest of those 3 kids left at home, did manage to graduate from college (not an easy process for her) and find a good job. Which was fortunate when her husband, at age 39, succumbed to depression and killed himself, leaving her with three children under the age of 6.
So from where I sit, ladies, you better not depend on a man to take care of you. He may not leave you for a hot 25 year old, but he might just drop dead, and leave you quite unprepared to support yourself and your kids. Opting for the housewife mode, regardless of whether or not you find that challenging and interesting, is cery risky unless you are wealthy and well insured.
And I, too, find those word verification words very difficult to read!
My hair is still 95% dark brown, so for now I've made it a habit to wear lipstick and sunscreen and sometimes a touch of YSL touche eclat. I don't like the way most foundations feel, but I do have a powder foundation for touchups, but I rarely use it.
At almost 63 my silver/gray hair is long (similar to LPC) and for me it's a daily must to wear the minimalist make up you described.
I don't like foundations, but I do love Avène's Fluid foundation corrector in "natural" which leaves just a hint of color at your skin.
And yes, I see it the same way like you.
I'm coming back to Hermes carres after a bit of an absence perhaps that transitional period between youth and middle age was the hardest to navigate.
I agree that everyone should be capable of supporting themselves and their family should it come to that. I've nothing against women or men staying home, I just think they are incredibly naive if they believe they don't need the ability to be self-sufficient.
Susan: That's it, one day something just shifts. I got rid of some long skirts, then they came in again but though they look cool on my 20-something hairdresser, they no longer do on me.
sisty: Glad you liked it, shows the range of approach and opinion. Sometimes I buy makeup and never wear it, so now I buy mostly drugstore stuff.
That's Not: A woman who knows her unscrunched mind!
barbara: Thanks for the tip, I'll try it as I love Avène products. Can't stand the feel of 'real' foundation.
LPC: Saw your post, then the Hillary Tumblr, and- voilà! To call a scrunchie a meme is giving it too much credit. Like tube socks or chains on eyeglasses, it is an accessory that's not going anywhere. Word is a nice little piece of naming.
Have seen many cases of what Jill Ann describes.
But what concerns her is her two best girlfriends, who are both very bright and doing well in school, but whose main life goals are getting through college as quickly as possible so they can get married and have babies, at which point they will quit working entirely. She doesn't understand why her friends have no ambition, and I don't understand why it is so appealing to them to be totally dependent on a man, not to mention why they want to have such "small" lives. I don't mean to offend any stay-at-home moms, and I totally understand wanting to stay home while the kids are little, but if you never want to be out in the world at all, and have a chance to use your education....I just don't get it.
The fact is, there *are* women who are wholly and happily supported by their partners (and who contribute through their work in the home), and it all works out. It's just when you see women destitute (not to mention heartbroken), as I have, that you want 17 year olds to realize it is not a sure thing.
I have never worn a scrunchie, even in the 1980s. I also seek out the plainest covered hair elastics possible - hard to find silver/grey ones though!
I think I do have what you call wide fabric headbands, though, only for practical hair-out-of-eyes-in-wind reasons.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Maddow
Not to offend any career-people out there, but - people with some of the smallest lives i've ever seen have been single people using their degrees in very long hours at high pressure, demanding jobs. Always either working, commuting, or crashing to recuperate from the stress. No time for hobby, exercise, proper eating, political involvement.....barely even for family.
OTOH, one of the busiest people i know is a married lady with no job or kids, two dogs. Keeping bees, huge garden (including edibles) watered with a grey water system she designed, involved in community issues regarding pollution and the environment (they live near a refinery), cooks and bakes, slowly re-designing and redecorating her small house, has time for her hobby of paper-based crafts, researching keeping chickens....you get the idea.
There's more than one way to use your brains and creativity to develop a 'big' life. Just sayin'. Steph
Jill Ann's point, aside from her own preferences is, "You better not depend on a man to take care of you"- wherever you land.
Whether she chooses to use her education for paid work or not, a woman who cannot support herself is taking a substantial risk. And because I've seen more than a few deadbeat dads (who actually had money), she might think about having to support any dependent children she has, too.