The plain one

Downton Abbey's Lady Edith and Lady Mary

"The pretty one, the plain one."

Have you ever heard this distinction made about sisters? Or perhaps you, like me, had a girlfriend so stunning that you might as well be invisible walking beside her. (Jeanne had Elizabeth Taylor's violet eyes and heart-shaped face, masses of black hair, and a perfect figure that she showed extensively.)

The less-alluring woman feels like Lady Edith in "Downton Abbey", a few teaspoons short of a full service.

This is physical beauty at its most superficial and competitive, but among many, the wish to achieve at least an average level is an obsession, especially in a woman's young adulthood. 

Britain, however, has long venerated actors who are not "10"s. Laura Carmichael, who plays Edith, or the marvelous Ruth Sheen, who often appears in Mike Leigh's films, are not conventional beauties, yet command a screen.

Laura Carmichael

Above, Carmichael escapes the Edwardian in a wee bit of Gucci: Go boil your bloomers, Lady Mary. One tactic: shift the eye to legs long as any showgirl's.

In "Another Year", Ruth Sheen plays a social worker. She's in easy, straightforward Marks & Sparks-type pieces, a woman comfortable with who she is, busy with her work and garden. (By contrast, Lesley Manville, as her desperate and damaged friend, is costumed in clothes too young for her.)

"Another Year": Manville (l) and Sheen

Those of us not born storied beauties (and older than Carmichael) will forgo slashed Gucci, but might borrow a few pointers from Sheen, especially as she appeared at the London Critics' Film Awards last February.

Sheen steps out

Her dress fits perfectly; the fabric creates movement. Black downplays a generous bust, gold satin lights her face. She has wisely left the neckline uncluttered. The wrap adds texture but does not overwhelm. The pale leg and shoe create an unbroken line that lengthens the leg.

Sheen's dramatically made-up eyes and lower-key lips lift the gaze from her receding chin to her cheekbones.

Sheen claims her beauty

Whether genuine or faux, diamond and pearl earrings are the pièce de résistance, the accessory of a glowing, confident woman celebrating a notable achievement. That's why I post on jewelry: the right pieces not only highlight loveliness, they amplify it.

Sheen wore that dress to the Toronto Film Festival screening of "Another Year", the London premiere, and the Critics' Award event. Brava! If you have a look that works, wear it often and vary the accessories.

I admire Sheen and women like her, luminous and lively. And that makes them beauties in my book.

Paloma Picasso

Another approach is that of the jolie laide, the woman who's not conventionally appealing but has presence, style, spirit; often-invoked examples include Diana Vreeland, Paloma Picasso, Chanel, Anna Magnani, the French chanteuse Barbara, Bette Davis.

This woman holds an inner conviction that symmetrical, standard-issue prettiness is simply one type, and she's  another, just as esteemed. The more narrowly a culture applies standards of beauty and the more pressure a woman feels to conform, the more hard-won the respect for the jolie laide. I find her splendid.

Kirn's appreciation in Elle

If you think this is rationalization, click here for Walter Kirn's essay (on Elle's site), on how "the hottest girl in the room is not necessarily who you think".

If you are mother or friend to a young woman who mourns her invisibility next to a Lady Mary, Kirn's piece could allay angst—though of course she would never behave as badly as the tattletale Lady Edith, although hasn't she improved in Season Two?

"Pretty is as pretty does", as my mother used to say.