Spending: Guru shifts style
The Canadian money-management columnist and TV host Gail Vaz-Oxlade is a straight-shooting woman who brooks no nonsense from financial reprobates who even consider spending an unnecessary nickel now that she's on their case. I've seen her take delusional couples to task on her TV show "Til Debt Do Us Part": "No, $70 for Friday night dinner out is not on. Pay down your mortgage."I was struck by a quote from a recent interview with her in the Globe and Mail ("Accidental Guru" by Sarah Hampson, January 11, 2010). Vaz-Oxlade was, until recently, "very security oriented."
But then she witnessed the death of a close friend, which changed her. She said:
"You have to not only take care of the issues so that you have the money, but you also have to have a great life... If we can't learn to appreciate the life that we have and enjoy the small joys then we'll continue to sacrifice what we do have for what we think we need."
I put down my cup of French roast (one of the small joys) to reflect. Every day, I read sales pitches oriented to 50+ people that imply, not very subtly, "Get it while you can", or "You've worked hard, you deserve this, so buy it."I, too have
fallen for this seductive message. I like to say I want to see more of the world before some tour company has to drag me there. But at the same time, I have a nagging feeling of being led to something I don't wholly want.If my Bucket List is all consumables, what is the point, because things will not make me happy, and bigger things won't make me bigger happy.
A strand of
South Sea pearls would impart a contented glow– but not above that caused by good health, cherished relationships and simply being here. Or being here, simply. After years of elder care, I've noticed that money (for most of us) and time are limited, but money won't buy you a lot more time.
Small joys need only slowing down to savour. Big ticket joys–whatever big ticket means to each of us–require judgment disabused of hype and fake promises.Does the purchase represent my priorities or the vendor's image? Will it place me smack in front of discovery, wonder, beauty, peace or adventure? Will it connect to what I deeply value, or is it another example of what C.S. Lewis called "The American Dream: Work. Buy. Display. Repeat."?
Thank you, Gail! I'm placing your words at eye level at my desk.
Comments
And I agree with Pseu. I've never been a big consumer, but even my carefully selected things (usually bought at a great discount) are only things, and we've begun to reverse the flow from in to out, and to DO more rather than HAVE more. It is the Geist of the Zeit.
I've always been one to favour travel and not want to accumulate a lot of "stuff", but alas now we are realising that travel has a very heavy environmental cost as well (and alas I'm on the wrong side of the pond to take a train to European destinations, and in the Americas, environmentally-friendly railways are so limited. Guess there is no easy solution.
Certainly experiences and pleasures, solitary and shared, are an important part of the equation, at any age.
Someone: Must confess that in certain moods I can hoover Hershey's Kisses which is not good chocolate. But I try to aim higher and eat less of it.
Anonymous at 10:02: Re "sometimes travel is just more consumerism", I had written the line "I don't want to be one of those retirees who can only talk about their next trip" but I though it was a peevish thing to say so I deleted it. But you are articulating what I did write, another way. We are being sold 'experiences' as a more noble way to consume.
I also read a quote I loved ,that how happy one is in old age will depend on how satisfied one can be with the simplest pleasures, like watching a sun set.
I request that Anonymous posters sign their "handle" when posting so I can tell you apart and feel a little more connected to each of you.
diverchic: Really don't enjoy buying duplicates of everyday things! Big waste of money.
lagatta: I didn't give enought context in my intro. Gail is not a killjoy. Her advice to "forget spending the $70 for dinner out" is aimed at those couples who spend mindlessly and are sinking under their debt load. They are often at divorce's door because of dire financial shape. She has to re-orient their out of whack behaviour and teach them how to manage their financial life.
Re the environmental impact of tourism, while there is no easy solution, we pass up the more fragile destinations. Like not buying some kinds of fish (more all the time, to my dismay), I accept that certain sights will only be a memory, if we are to preserve them.
Also, fiscal anorexia is just the flip side of over-indulgence. Both are equally joyless, it seems to me.
s: Whether people "expect" or have been told they should have a certain standard of living, it isn't hard to find examples in every age group of living beyond one's means. I hope private schools require extensive financial disclosure before granting financial aid, but I have no experience with that.
I'm NOT a MeMeMe person, far from it, though I'm most definitely a boomer. Perhaps this is cultural, as I live in Montréal and an occasional dinner out is a big part of the culture here, even for people with very little money.
Your assumptions about me are utterly ludicrous. I've been spending most of my time recently supporting Haiti relief.
I love watching the show and the people who insist that they spend money they haven't got on stuff they don't need. A recent favourite episode of mine was one with a husband whose answer to everything was more credit. Dinners out, vacations, sports night with the guys? He'll charge it, thanks. Or the woman who would visit her dream Benz at the dealership. The bank could afford it, but she couldn't. It may not be generational, but where this spendy mindset has taken root, it seems hard to remove.
I hear a new show might be coming up, and I'm sure to enjoy that too.
Glossy.