Use the good china
Wear your Sunday best on Mondays
Doubt when the weather report says "Save it for a rainy day"
We could see each other Saturday or get together next week, but why wait?
Use the good china.
- "Use the Good China" by Freya
What do you have that you're saving for for later, for the perfect occasion? And why are yo
u postponing joy?
I have a bottle of perfume, La Reine Margot (a Maitre Gantier et Parfumeur fragrance) tucked into my bottom drawer. I've been waiting till I've used several nearly-finished bottles of other scents. But why?
Last week I met with my friend Catherine to catch up– we had not seen each other for nearly two years. I learned that she had endured both a debilitating car accident and the gutting of her investments, not a Madoff-melt, but serious enough. And thanks to the economy, her income had dropped by 50%. A woman of immense spirit and talents, she related these events with rue but also humour and grace.
Catherine then pulled out a folder of paint samples, and said th
at she was choosing colours for her living room. She had postponed decorating, but now was ready to surround herself with beauty. She'd set out to buy a new sofa in a practical neutral, and was captivated by a colourful print– so that's the one she bought.
Now she's choosing luscious colours from a designer paint line. She's using the good china.
Listening to her resolution to live exuberantly and wholly despite these blows reminded me that life on hold is life diminished. Time does not suspend, stowed along with the silk nightgown or fancy soaps tucked away for 'someday'.
I'm having this talk with myself: Open the perfume, take those shoes out of the shoebox, call a friend to meet for lunch somewhere with a bit of charm, and remember what Dad used to say, "Enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate."
Doubt when the weather report says "Save it for a rainy day"
We could see each other Saturday or get together next week, but why wait?
Use the good china.
- "Use the Good China" by Freya
What do you have that you're saving for for later, for the perfect occasion? And why are yo
u postponing joy? I have a bottle of perfume, La Reine Margot (a Maitre Gantier et Parfumeur fragrance) tucked into my bottom drawer. I've been waiting till I've used several nearly-finished bottles of other scents. But why?
Last week I met with my friend Catherine to catch up– we had not seen each other for nearly two years. I learned that she had endured both a debilitating car accident and the gutting of her investments, not a Madoff-melt, but serious enough. And thanks to the economy, her income had dropped by 50%. A woman of immense spirit and talents, she related these events with rue but also humour and grace.
Catherine then pulled out a folder of paint samples, and said th
at she was choosing colours for her living room. She had postponed decorating, but now was ready to surround herself with beauty. She'd set out to buy a new sofa in a practical neutral, and was captivated by a colourful print– so that's the one she bought. Now she's choosing luscious colours from a designer paint line. She's using the good china.
Listening to her resolution to live exuberantly and wholly despite these blows reminded me that life on hold is life diminished. Time does not suspend, stowed along with the silk nightgown or fancy soaps tucked away for 'someday'.
I'm having this talk with myself: Open the perfume, take those shoes out of the shoebox, call a friend to meet for lunch somewhere with a bit of charm, and remember what Dad used to say, "Enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate."
Comments
Enjoy your posts so much.
Your hair on the side photo is lovely.
I'll add a related thought: move those fancy items on to someone else if you're not going to use them.
For example, I'm using the silver flatware for everyday, which is good. I'm also seriously considering donating the "good" china since it doesn't fit our lifestyle. Perhaps someone else would enjoy it more.
I'm trying not to be like that, but there are hoarders in the family tree.
On my blog sidebar is a quote from my grandmother that I try to live by, "There's no point in having nice things if you don't use them."
I think a corollary to this is women who wait to do _____ until they lose weight. One can waste a lot of years that way.
Nancy: Excellent corollary! Sell or give away and choose something that's you.
Mary: I've posted on hoarding; it could be either a hoarding or a kind of self-abnegation ("I don't deserve this.")
elke: How true! Sometimes I visit auction houses and see things that are old but obviously never used, and I think how sad- the things survived but were never enjoyed.
Frugal: I can get hoardy but am no longer patting myself on the back for it.
metscan: Oh yes- for me, the more precious rare the item, the more likely I am to 'save it', and an excellent antidote is to use it as an everyday object. My godmother used to do her laundry in a string of Mikimoto's finest pearls!
Pseu: Than you for this wise contribution; the "postponement for weight loss"- we wait to truly live till we think we "deserve" it by achieving a number.
I do suffer from hoarding tendencies as the result of deprivation both in childhood and at times in adulthood (the latter as a result of a very, very unfortunate separation; we won't go into details). Have to fight that - we have a friend who is a compulsive hoarder and almost got evicted as a result - the daunting task of helping him get rid of all his carefully boxed "stuff" was a good push to fight hoarding.
pseu, I don't think the weight thing is exactly the same - sure, there is the facet of putting one's life on hold "until", but nobody wants to be publicly humiliated, look horrid or make a fool of him or herself.
Great post. I keep telling myself to do this, but I don't actually do it. I'm going to start tonight.
Though we still save for the future; DH and I are traveling with our son now to make memories that we all can share. I find the beauty in the great art of the museums of the world to be soul nourishing as I do a good book savored with a cup of tea by the fire.
Donating items which aren't right for you is so important. Some things just need the freedom to go find their proper homes. Anything we hang on to, no matter how humble or fine, needs to be used and enjoyed otherwise it is best to let it move on its way.
LaurieAnn: You said it beautifully! Enjoy every museum.
Alienne: Isn't it remarkable how many commenters are getting rid of stuff? All the better to see your red carpet.
--Frugal Son
I've learned to use my good china when we eat in the dining room and it is often by candlelight. I wear my best clothes on any occasion when I want a bit of extra confidence. My very best kindness goes first to those I love most. I hope I manage at least courtesy for the rest...
lagatta: Or use as a pique-assiette mosaic or give to a ceramicist who can do so.
metscan: I'm too cautious to do what you did- and applaud your wisdom in knowing what was right for you!
Frugal Son: I am delighted that you're reading and will benevolently bug you to enjoy the full range of experiences (with price tags to match) while in France.
Maravonda: That is exactly where the 'saving it' takes each of us, to one degree or another. When my mother died I found a stack of cashmere sweaters my sister and I had given here, still encased in bags- most had been enjoyed only by moths.
I agree with donating to charity items that you do not use and no longer want. I am a fan of charity shops and frequent them when I donate!
I certainly did not mean that people over the weight they want to be should refrain from buying expensive and beautiful clothes - if they can find them that is, as the offer is dismal - but that they might not want for example to wear a bikini - question of taste and self-awareness, that, not of denial.
Sad about your mum's sweaters; guess they were too moth-eaten for either of you to inherit them.
Did you have a post about moths? I found a lovely unworn pure-woollen garment in a charity shop and I don't want to lose it to moths, as I did a cachmere pullover.
Thank you Duchesse.
I have a set of spode china that has never come out of its boxes (no where to keep it, need a sideboard).
I do use daily the crystal wine glasses we were given at our wedding. So far in 8 years only 1 broken!