Making giving an art
A Susanfriend removed most of the lightbulbs in her basement, because she could save a few dollars on her electric bill. She kept a flashlight at the top of the stairs but forgot to mention that. Damn near killed myself going down there in the dark!
"Everybody's cheap about something!", she said as she offered a makeshift icebag for my knee. I wondered what my thing was, but I'm a hypocrite, so think of myself as "frugal"—while other people are cheap.
What's being cheap?
Cheapness resides more often in the eye of the receiver than the donor. Rachel gave me a 4/5 full bottle of perfume that she knew I wore, but on her smelled like "the bottom of my granny's purse"—and I was thrilled. But when a neighbour arrived for a holiday dinner and proffered a a bottle of wine with one-third missing because "I wanted some with my lunch", it felt cheap.
But I don't really care; let him have his wine. What gets my Irish up is when people refuse to contribute in any way to charities; they say their tax dollars fund social benefits, or that that "those people game the system." ("Those people" is code for immigrants.) Most people I know, though, give their time, donate goods or pledge financial support.
This year, I see more persons than I recall ever before sleeping rough; families who use the food bank next door come every week now, not only near the end of the month. The stats confirm my impression: A leap in the cost of housing (a 170% increase for rental units in Montréal since 2019) has created an affordable-rent crisis, and food banks report a nearly 25% rise in assistance from a year ago.
The easiest way to support a charity is replace gift-giving to friends with a contribution to their cause. The Susanfriend with the dark basement makes a December donation to HelpAge Canada; I in turn give in her name to the Alzheimer Society of Toronto. Some friends are more amenable than others; when I asked Ruth if she would like a personal gift or a donation, she said, "Both!"
Some women enjoy hands-on helping, such as delivering meals for Meals on Wheels, others prefer sponsoring someone for a hike or bike-a-thon— and today I especially want to highlight giving that goes beyond the usual methods.
Heart Award: Ethel's conversation group
"Giving" does not only mean writing a cheque. I'm moved by my friend Ethel, a retired educator who volunteers to lead a free weekly French conversation group for immigrants to Quebec, hosted by a community centre. These adults meet weekly to practice their French through Ethel's assortment of activities; in addition to gently coaching conversations, she presents Québecois music, poetry, traditions and tips about coping with our frigid winters.
She said, when I mentioned her skillful animation, that the attendees gave back to her immeasurably.
Art Award: Crafted for Courage
In 2025, friends and I had an original and exciting opportunity, several as knitters, others as donors.
The project that generated this spirited, uplifting philanthropy was 2025's Crafted for Courage, the which created over 450 quilts hand-made by Montréal women, who donated their time and yarn stashes to produce thousands of squares then linked into striking blankets. Last May, they were displayed at a public art installation and sale that raised over $70, 000 distributed among four local agencies for women affected by domestic violence.
The founder, Nori Bortoluzzi (Fondation Nota Bene) replicated an idea that originated in Italy, where the project is called Viva Vittoria. This was an enormous endeavour, a full-time commitment for Ms Bortoluzzi and her team. Plans for 2026 will be announced shortly on the Foundation's site.
Though a wealthy donor could have written a cheque for even more than the sale netted. the sheer power of the exhibition of the quilts made an indelible impression and demonstrated the healing power of art.
Art, activism and help for women in transition: a natural for me. Which causes open your heart and inspire you to give?
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