Jewellery: Eight reno hits and not one Mrs.
It's officially a jewellery thing: the divorce ring, a restyled engagement and/or wedding ring marketed as a way to signal, reclaim and celebrate one's newfound freedom. The poster girl for the trend is Emily Ratajkowski, who used the princess and pear diamond from her toi et moi engagement ring to make two new rings.
I especially like the pinky ring's asymmetrical presentation, it's loose and fresh. Presumably EmRata has defined knuckles; many of us do not have enough protrusion to securely anchor a ring—let alone a big diamond—on that finger.
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| Left, original ring; right, resyled rings |
And it need not be your own. I had lunch with a friend, Maggie, who wore a diamond solitaire pendant made from her mother's ring. Hers had a Victorian-era collet setting:
Shown, .25ct diamond pendant from Etsy seller Ivy and Rose Vintage. The black rhodium finish on the setting works well with casual clothes; Maggie wore hers with a sweatshirt.
The goal is to avoid a design that shouts "that must have been her engagement ring." Below, four pieces that carry not a whiff of bygone baby's breath. If something raises your pulse, contact the artisan for a custom piece, or use it as inspiration. (The last three makers below accept commissions.)
Clockwise from top left:
Top left: The Sacred Order diamond signet ring, a good redesign for an eternity band that isn't going there. A signet will not be read as wedding jewellery, and provides space for a single stone or a scattering.
Top right: Deborah Cadby gold circle disc ring. Simple yet elegant; repurposes any gemstone perfectly. I love this ring's tailored, calm mood.
Bottom right: Sonny Bailey-Aird three-stone pendant. His work is forged, not cast, so will last for generations; one of my dream jewellers.
Bottom left: Dorothée Rosen "Flow" pendant. Rosen pays close attention to the sourcing of her precious metals and is a superb setter.
A tip for the restyling of any jewellery: the best use of your budget is to put your material into one of the artisan's existing designs. That's sometimes called "custom-made" rather than "one of a kind". The benefit is that design time is greatly reduced, and you have a clear idea of the finished product.
Finale: Oh look, a pearl!
Whether one begins with rocks like Ratajkowski's or small stones, a project need not be divorce-driven. Roxanne, given a new ring on her 20th anniversary, had her original diamond made into a charm, to wear like this necklace by Artwork Gallery, which pairs it with a South Sea pearl:
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| Photo courtesy Pamela Chandler, Artwork Gallery |
When I divorced, I did not commission a ring, but could relate to the power of a talisman. On the walk home from the courthouse, I spotted a pair of Larry Mahan navy-blue butterfly-emblazoned cowboy boots (discreet by Mahan standards) in a boutique window and bought them as a symbol of striding into a new life.
They were a wild splurge—I was left with my ex's debt so every penny counted—but those boots reassured me like little else I've owned. I listened to Annie Lennox singing "There Must be an Angel" with Stevie Wonder's vaulting harmonica break over and over, and figured things would turn out.
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| The divorce boots, ca. 1981 |
Years later, I wore the boots to dinner at a diner on the eve of my marriage to Le Duc, who remembers them still. When they no longer fit, they perched for decades on my bookshelf, until one day I decided that the butterflies might lift the heart of another woman, and donated them to a charity store.
Did she find them? Talismans, whether boots or baubles, are chosen by the wearers; that's what is meant when someone says, "It spoke to me." Though I have no wish to wear my former wedding ring in any form, I see the attraction if the piece carries one through the transition.
Comments
Thank you for the suggestions here. I have my mother’s rings and have dithered about what to do with them. I like the pendant you show at the beginning of your post.
SewLibrarian
I suppose the circumstances of the divorce might make a difference but, honestly, I find it difficult to understand why someone would want to wear a constant reminder of it.
Your butterfly boots seem like a much more appropriate gesture (and Annie Lennox is a help in all circumstances!)
Jane in London : I have seen so much of this I had to write about this; it seems women are in a way writing a new narrative about something that was once handled discreetly. Had not thought about buying anything, I just wanted to get home, close the door and mourn my sad day (little did I know then it was for the best)... but there those boots were. I still listen to Annie Lennox.