Grooming: More or less?

Last week, I saw a Susanfriend, who finally drove in from the country after the past two years' restrictions. She, like so many Passage women, had changed her hair colour from a deep auburn-with-caramel-lowlights to natural grey. She looked fresher and more relaxed; the grey softened her features, her bob gleamed plushly. (She credits a root perm every few months, to add volume, not curl.) 

In the past two years, insistence on maintaining colour to one's last breath eased, assisted by required salon closures; at least five friends went from colour to grey. This is the newly-grey Elizabeth McGovern at the "Downton Abbey: A New Era" premiere; you can see the hint of her former honey brown in the chignon:  

I'm not saying it's for everyone—hair has a deep connection to identity—but as Susan observed, without the salon closure she would have trudged along with monthly colour and a drawerful of Root Rescue. "That appointment was an annuity for my stylist", said the retired banker.

Susan now does only what she finds restorative: a weekly salon shampoo (besides another friend's 90-year -old mother, she is the only woman among my friends who does this), and a facial when her skin looks tired. 

She told the aesthetician that she wanted to use no more than three skincare products on her face including sunblock, and bought what she recommended: LeRoche Posay Substiane Extra-Riche face cream, the brand's popular Anthelios SPF50 sunscreen (which she already uses) and Roseliac gel makeup remover. She mixes a few drops of Clinique "Sun-Kissed Face" bronzer into the face cream; it is the sole skin product retained from her old routine.

 

Not everyone has pared back. Lou, another of the pandemic greys, switched to a new stylist, figuring that a great cut was more important than ever.  

She booked cosmetic dentistry (diamonds may be forever but veneers are not) and took a makeup lesson to develop a streamlined routine and find good colours. Noticing how stiff she had become, the moment  gyms reopened, she booked sessions with a Pilates trainer. She got new glasses. Lou's rationale was that she had done nothing but sit home since 2020 and this was the moment. 

My lovely co-grandmother, Natasha, wanted a lift after a nasty bout with that virus. For her, "the moment" was created by her superb colourist, Kat McClelland, who added a blush pink overlay on her blonde hair. I saw her straight out of the salon and loved it; the colour is subtle, almost imperceptible in lower light, but softly pink in the sun. This is a semi-permanent product that will gradually fade over a month or so. 

I, though, was one of the downsizers. I went so long without a nail salon visit that I built the ambidexterity of a card magician, though a buffed nail is still my favourite. My go-to DIY mani is a sheer neutral from Essie's "Treat, Love and Colour" line, which needs no base coat and nourishes nails.

There is a limit to my skill, though; I'm relieved of all hubris by the designs Betina Goldstein creates for Chanel, on her Insta here. 

Peony manicure by Betina Goldstein, Instagram

Forced to learn to trim my hair, I can now can ride out a week or two if my popular stylist is fully booked. I threw out a basket of serum samples and lipstick hoarded since before climate change because the colour (Lancome Nude 4) was discontinued. Lipsticks are like bad boys—an attractive one always shows up if you're looking, and eventually they smell funky.

When I was a young woman, one of the most insulting things one could say was, "She's let herself go." But now, many of us have let a few things go and we're fine with it. Others, like Lou, have decided to lavish more resources on aspects they deem important, aesthetically and emotionally.

I'm curious about you: Doing more or doing less? What changes have you made?