Gutting it out to go gray: Hairdresser's advice
I have a new hairdresser with whom I am in the throes of first-visit love. He's articulate, talented, and best of all, took about 15 min. to gaze at my hair and me before proposing The Plan.
The Plan is not to go gray just yet, but I asked him how to do it.
He said:
1. Skip the colour for four months. (That gives typically several inches of undyed hair.)
2. Come in for a short, smashing cut.
You might get a few lowlights to blend in any harsh transitions.
That's it, a short, sharp hop to... whatever is under there. No 'pearling', which is essentially the application of heavy highlights that are intended to bridge between your colour and your gray. So if you're growing your hair or finally got it long, you must again endure the growing-out.
I chose this well-regarded salon to do a correction required after several over-processed colour jobs at the Aveda school. The student stylists were sweet and earnest, and many did a fine job, but the last two didn't, so the colour built to a harsh dark brown with purplish undertones. I turned to a pro to get my coppery auburn back.
Filed the Gray Game Plan for future reference. As I was walking in, a woman strolled out with that luminous white cloud of hair we frequent dyers all wish for. It is waiting for me, beckoning, one day... though not today.
Photo from Marie Claire's "What I Love About Me" Beauty Road Show
The Plan is not to go gray just yet, but I asked him how to do it.
He said:
1. Skip the colour for four months. (That gives typically several inches of undyed hair.)
2. Come in for a short, smashing cut.
You might get a few lowlights to blend in any harsh transitions.
That's it, a short, sharp hop to... whatever is under there. No 'pearling', which is essentially the application of heavy highlights that are intended to bridge between your colour and your gray. So if you're growing your hair or finally got it long, you must again endure the growing-out.
I chose this well-regarded salon to do a correction required after several over-processed colour jobs at the Aveda school. The student stylists were sweet and earnest, and many did a fine job, but the last two didn't, so the colour built to a harsh dark brown with purplish undertones. I turned to a pro to get my coppery auburn back.
Filed the Gray Game Plan for future reference. As I was walking in, a woman strolled out with that luminous white cloud of hair we frequent dyers all wish for. It is waiting for me, beckoning, one day... though not today.
Photo from Marie Claire's "What I Love About Me" Beauty Road Show
Comments
i've been debating this question for quite some time. my hair is turning out some white and silvery 'highlights' which i don't mind. the idea of being grey doesn't bother me and had always intended to just let it go. the problem for me isn't the grey but the accompanying darkening around it. so i've recently done lowlights to minimize the rooty look (haven't tried to color the grey.) hoping to transition to a point where i could cut my hair short enough to let it go. it's the idea of short hair, not the grey, that holds me back.
So no, no grey hair until I'm at least 65 or more probably 70, though as Duchesse says it is hard for women who originally had very dark hair to get the colour right and not too harsh - or conversely too red, or too mousey.
The hairdresser sounds great though.
When I asked my old hairdresser how I'd look with grey hair, he said "Practical". Aaargh!
Pseu: Not that you want it, but some of my GFs with that hair (I call it greying paper bag) have some stunning low-and-highlights- extremely chic play of many colours including some strands of grey.
downthegarden: He also adds lowlights if grey dispersal is not even. My hair is short now but I am growing it (to a longer short, not long) so if in a few years want to go grey, have to go back to short. So thinking why not now? But just not there.
metscan: You are lucky, you don't have to deal with roots with that level of colour.
No I'm not doing it yet. Friend who just came back from Argentina said he did not see one woman, anywhere, with grey hair.
It's totally unfair and all, but gray on middle age and up tends to look grandma and aging. The gray haird models you see in JJill etc all have young faces--whether by nature or surgery,I'm not sure.
I have a friend who went from dark burnette to gray and decided it was too drab so became a very pale blonde- looks fabulous and she says she will keep it forever. YOu might think it would not work with her colouring but it did.
Frugal: Despite exceptional examples I too find grey ages. So do too harsh colours- so I am continually trying to get the salon colour right.
I really feel we should be reclaiming the right to be grey and beautiful instead of conforming to some strange standard that has emerged over the past few years.
I guess every woman has their way of convincing themselves that they are holding back the years - mine is by taking care of my neck and stomach. The only bottle I want to be a slave to in my old age is Veuve Cliquot!
Hear, hear!! Love this. (BTW, we're going on a tour of the VC winery/caves next month.)
Yes it is a way of holding back the years: grey hair is my memory of my grandmother and mother, who hated turning grey young. Hair colour has come so far since their time, discreet and beautiful shades- but they do take an investment of time and money.
bonnie-ann: Sounds like you are one of the beautiful grays, I'd keep it too.
maggie: My last two words of the post, not yet, will stand for awhile- as I have only average hair thickness which is helped by colour.
Sometimes it bothers me that it ages me, but the bother of grey roots and chemical dyes is worse for me.
I think it's kind of a shame that women (including myself!) are conditioned to think grey is unacceptable/unattractive.
THIS is my new motto. and thanks Deja Pseu for the testimony to my hair... i've always said, no matter what colour it is, it is my crowning glory. i don't have much else to recommend me looks-wise, but i do have nice hair!
Don't remind me - my roots are shocking at the moment!
Biddies with short hair are rather frightening. That screams organised bus trips. But at the same time, I'm getting sick of pouring chemicals - even supposedly innocuous ones - on my scalp.
My grey hair is genetic - my mum was silver at 40.
I don't have a lot of "public" work in the summertime - conferences, etc - so I can give my scalp a bit of a rest at least. I'm also utterly terrified about how people will react. The undyed roots have a lovely texture though, although I've had my hair done in salons using mild products and practically no peroxyde for years.
I have a colleague who has her hair very short and grey, but her life outlook - that our intimate lives are as good as over by middle age and living vicariously through her daughter and grandchildren - was a factor in spurring me to keep on dyeing. Rather than dying!
You might find your makeup and even clothing colours change too, if you keep growing into grey.
(Perhaps you could start a blog and take us through the transition :))
And I'm well aware that cutting your curly, voluminous hair takes talent.
Your friend may be a dear friend but is not a role model for mid and later-mid life!
Wonder how long I can keep my very intense red before looking odd (75? ) but then maybe I will just look odd!
There is a reason I spoke of a "colleague" rather than a friend: I certainly don't dislike her at all but find her attitude defeatist to say the least.
V, on the other hand is definitely a friend.
I wear very little makeup, a bit of eye makeup, some Roc hypoallergenic lipstick or a lip balm in a berry colour (but that does not add a lot of colour). My lips are naturally quite red.
I like a very minimalist colour palette, with a bit more colour in the summertime but would never start wearing pastels. The main problem is that this might move me to "colder". Other problem is possible need for hats in the summertime, and in general I hate wearing hats.
Hope you keep all of us updated on your sense of how you like the incoming grey. If I had to assign a percentage I would say I like 25% of the grey I see on downtown streets. When it is well cut, it is beautiful but as you say, too much of that sheared retiree cut.
In some photos of me, my hair looks very white, in others, very blond.
I have to say that the dyed look on brunettes is almost always ghastly. They think they look younger, when the opposite is the case. I think going lighter works best for almost everyone.
There is a certain point, no matter what your colour, that it is indisputably colour, and unnatural. Who at 65 or 70 has chestnut brown hair? In my case, I've decided to colour my hair a slightly eccentric red (not quite Vivienne Westwood but that's the idea). I figure, why not be frankly and flagrantly fake? Or go natural, or nearly so as you have. The safe in between does not interest me much.
As far as losing weight goes, I refuse to bite on the "aging" hook. We age, and many women tend to gain some weight along the journey. Any woman who is morbidly obese should address it; despite the fat acceptance people's wishes, there is evidence of health risk. But slightly overweight is less of a risk than previously thought.
Being thin does not make anyone look young. I think it's more about teeth, posture and a good current hair style.