Dressing your age in 2024

I treat Vanessa Friedman's  New York Times articles like a book club, dissecting their plot with friends, and providing follow-up commentary here. If you have not read "What Does It Mean to Dress Your Age?", and can access it, have a look.

Friedman seconds the "if you wore it the first time around, don't wear it the second" adage, but says a better criterion is that based on the "associations and assumptions" inherent in a garment. At age 56, she rejects short hemlines, belly-baring tops, ruffles and clingy styles like slip dresses, which reference "an era when I was a much less formed person, or one I have lived through already. That has as much to do with personal associations as it does with actual years."

The reason I don't wear ruffles (and raise her a tube top) has little to do with an era, it's about the immutable effect of gravity that—body acceptance notwithstanding—makes certain styles look like I'm being held hostage in a granddaughter's bedroom.

And, I have an indelible memory of a moment that I do not want to live again, the early '80s, when I was in a ferociously hip boutique in London, worshipping the clothes. 

A woman in her sixties stood before a full-length mirror, pirouetting in a revealing, flamboyant party dress. She had a far different distribution of body mass than that intended for the dress. The sales associate flattered, the customer looked dazzled. I pitied the her and thought then, Good lord, never let this happen to me, the moment where I have a surplus of money and a dearth of sanity. 

Along came family life; the first condition took care of itself. The second manifested with help from friends. I also learned to spot sales tactics and hype from "influencers" who flog trends. 

My take is, there is not so much 'dressing your age', but more accurately,  dressing your body as it moves through life. Is anyone in the Passage this going to wear the No Pants trend?


We have many examples of mature women who look beautiful and at ease in their clothes. Jane in London recently mentioned this photo of Judy Dench, a beacon for many (and a reminder of the wisdom of the monochromatic ensemble):


This is a surefire way to look pulled-together, but some women are reflexively opposed to "matchy-matchy" and run from it faster than a kitchen fire. 

However, there is more latitude than we may think—I especially like the freshness of complementary tones instead of monotones. like this outfit in purples and pink:


And there are secrets! There's a way to do this! Help is at hand from a terrific post by Bridgette Raes, an American style consultant and author.  

Read "How to Look Coordinated Instead of Matchy-Matchy"; Raes shows how "pulling back a bit" changes the entire look. You will never over-coordinate again... at least not unless you want to.  

And maybe buy her a coffee because there is a lot of work in her post. 

In other news, Pantone's Colour of the Year is Peach Fuzz, a shade that's between pink and orange, soft, sensual and I suspect not very wearable as clothing. 


Near the face, this colour will look sensational on dark skin but will wash out pale complexions, and it's not a simple matter to mix it with other colours. It may have its 2024 moment as tablewear or decor, but for clothing, unless you live in a warm climate, it's too summery to last longer than, well... a peach.

What do you think of it?

 




 

Comments

Laura J said…
“ dressing your body as it moves through life. ” excellent job mindset combined with, I think, one’s desire to express one’s sense of self.
No pants, no thank you! Lol
Araminta said…
"Peach fuzz" Ugh! I'm a Winter, and it is rich and/or cool colours all the way for me. This colour would make me look as if I am embalmed.
Leslie M said…
I was in my 40's when I started to wonder if I would know when clothing was not age-appropriate for the office or for me. A co-worker and I made a pact to tell the other when a dress was too short or too tight or just 'too' and should be retired. We ultimately didn't need to do this because, as you say, dressing your 'age' isn't the issue. My body told me what I needed to know. I think I also realized that if I needed to buy more undergarment support (scaffolding) to wear something, it might be time to let it go. So, unless or until dementia sets in, no, I won't be wearing the no-pants trend.
Martina said…
I love Trinny Woodall’s Instagram…she’s turning 60, and has a real life outlook on what looks good on her now. Of course, she’s tall and thin and loves color, but there are lessons about wearing what makes you feel good that are valuable. Her book, Fearless, has a lot about color and how to wear it.

Araminta, I agree about peach fuzz…ugh. I would look like no one had bothered to embalm me. Also, your name brought me right back to the Borrowers books, which I loved as a kid!
Jane in London said…
Your experience in the 80s struck a chord with me. I worked for a couple of years in the noughties with a woman who was probably about 60ish (she did not talk about her age) and was very keen on telling everyone, frequently, that she still wore the exact same dress size as she had at 21.

We had to attend a work-related evening event together and she had chosen a strapless, clingy dress with a slit up one side. She was slender and attractive and it's not that she looked bad exactly, but the dress simply did her no favours at all at that age. In a different dress, she could have looked really fabulous. As it was, the outfit seemed a little 'sad'. And it wasn't that she lacked confidence: she was, as they say, a stranger to self-doubt...

I feel one of the compensations of age is that you can choose to wear only what you like and feels right for the life you lead. That's why I chose some time ago to stop wearing dresses and skirts altogether. My legs have never been my best feature and age has certainly not helped that!

Dame Judi's look is sublime and, though the actual clothes she wore for that shoot were well off my affordability scale, it would be relatively easy to put together a similar look using more moderately priced items. I find myself quite drawn these days to monochromatic looks, and they don't have to appear too matchy-matchy. I suspect the trick is to avoid choosing co-ords made in the exact same material and, instead, go for different textures in blending shades as Judi's stylist has done here.

The "no-pants" look gave me a really good laugh, thank you - even the model looks gauche and awkward in this look! And as for Peach Fuzz, well, I'd say it's a nice colour for a pudding...

Duchesse said…
Jane in London: It sounds as if your colleague did indeed like the dress, and as "no stranger to self-doubt" may have felt great in it, and many times I wondered the same about the woman I watched in the boutique: did she have fun in that dress? Or did she see a photo and think, Hmmm? She did me a favour in a way, sharpened my antennae for my own closet. I remember a time when I put on a flower-sprigged maxi dress I had enjoyed the summer before and realize I looked like a Dresden shepherdess.

Your observation re textures is apt, as when I enlarged Dame Judi I saw her satin blouse and the cashmere wrap.
I saw a young woman in no-pants attire last summer, on a train. Those pants, no tights, a tight t-shirt— I was shocked.She looked like she had been interrupted dressing. Her female companion wore a hoodie with the hood up and huge sunglasses, and a black tracksuit, every inch covered despite 28C heat. The contrast was remarkable.
Bunny said…
My opinion of peach fuzz? Just brings up the youtube vision of the well dimpled woman in Walmart in her waist lenght top and flesh colored leggings. It is to close to skin color for and I am one of those fair skinned for whom it just won't work.

Your tale of the women being sold a dress that she shouldn't wear brings to mind a couple of lifelong friend who are stuck in what they believe is their "peak". That appears to be when they were 17. They sported the same makeup, clothing and hair for all of these decades
that they had as late teens. This continues for one but for the other stopped cold when she lost her lifelong partner. She has finally come forward and has now learned to use makeup and clothing in way that is more contemporary and shows off her abundance of natural beauty, even at this late stage. The other continues to stay behind. I have always wondered the pschycology behind such behaviors, They are both single at this stage. It fascinates me.
Book Goddess said…
Oh dear. Peach Fuzz. When I moved into my house, it was painted that color. Even though I disliked it, I couldn’t see spending the money when the paint job was perfectly good. Years passed, but not my dislike of the color, and at last it was time to repaint. I’m so happy to drive up to my house now that it is painted a medium blue-gray with white trim.

I won’t be wearing Peach Fuzz either.

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