50+ style: The eccentric, the elegant and the space in between
Nancy Friedman, the branding consultant who writes the sharp blog fritinancy, sent me a video made by Ari Cohen, writer of the blog Advanced Style. Watch it (running time: 2:33), see what you think.
These women dress in clothes I would consciously avoid, though I loved the leopard frames. That doesn't make them "wrong" or badly-dressed; they intend a different mode of expression.
I'm tolerant but not admiring; I understand the joy of unfettered expression.
The women in the video don't acknowledge their wish to draw the eye, but, having known a few Eccentrics, I've observed it's there. Eccentricity is not solely about self-expression, it's about attention, too.
My son's young art-school copine can pull Eccentric off. It's as if she's saying, in her striped laddered tights under four skirts and a ferret on her shoulder, "You are going to look at me, for if I'm not Somebody yet, I am Someone today."
When I see a grown woman in silkscreened Marilyn Monroe wristwarmers, I'm not as admiring. More often than the subjects might wish, there's a whiff of desperation when mature women affect carefully-curated unconventionality.
Am I advocating dull conformity? No; there's ample room between "dressing like a dreary old lady" and uh, expressive outfits. Regard Brown's founder Joan Burstein, aka "Mrs. B", age somewhere in her seventies, substance and style shining forth. (Photo by Scott Schuman, The Sartorialist.)
The women in the video don't acknowledge their wish to draw the eye, but, having known a few Eccentrics, I've observed it's there. Eccentricity is not solely about self-expression, it's about attention, too.
My son's young art-school copine can pull Eccentric off. It's as if she's saying, in her striped laddered tights under four skirts and a ferret on her shoulder, "You are going to look at me, for if I'm not Somebody yet, I am Someone today."
When I see a grown woman in silkscreened Marilyn Monroe wristwarmers, I'm not as admiring. More often than the subjects might wish, there's a whiff of desperation when mature women affect carefully-curated unconventionality.
Am I advocating dull conformity? No; there's ample room between "dressing like a dreary old lady" and uh, expressive outfits. Regard Brown's founder Joan Burstein, aka "Mrs. B", age somewhere in her seventies, substance and style shining forth. (Photo by Scott Schuman, The Sartorialist.)
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| Mrs. B., muse |
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| Walking on Piazza Oberdan, Milan |
How do you like Eccentric? Do you wear it?
Comments
I get the sense that as women age (something that's definitely begun for me, though I'm not yet fifty) there are fewer and fewer ways to stake out social space and claim social power. The socially expected position is to accept invisibility, attend to the social and emotional needs of men and children, and not make a fuss--dress "appropriately", never sexily (because older women are socially defined as sexually unattractive); dress in feminine yet not sexual clothes; always watch out for appearing trendy (trends are for the young!).
In this context, I appreciate eccentricity. It's of course not the only way to claim social space, but since I absolutely believe that women over about 35 should not efface themselves, I'm glad to see women dressing with verve.
Of course, I think it's a class statement too--many of the women in Advanced Style are obviously very wealthy, either by inheritance or by achievement or by a bit of both. If you're a secretary hoping desperately not to be laid off at the age of 60, self expression is much trickier. Although again (as someone in a secretarial-to-administrative career track) I do see older women in secretarial jobs who claim space and exert power through non-conformist dressing -- along the lines of "I am so good at my job that I earn the right to dress as I please".
It's not a style that appeals to me for myself, but I have a great deal of experience with a different form of sartorial eccentricity--as a butch queer woman, I am always aware that my clothes look a bit eccentric and attention-getting, even when they are nothing more than a button-down and a pair of dress pants. You can put me in a ruffly dress, and I still, in other words, look like a butch in a ruffly dress. My body language and facial expression (and the fact that I have wide shoulders and no hips!)mark me out as a different kind of eccentric.
(In fact, one reason that I enjoy your blog--and those on your blog roll--is your preference for simpler, more understated shapes, high quality material and thoughtful use of color. All my clothes are simple and understated by default, because they're from the more mannish end of women's clothes--so material, color and shape are what I work with rather than details, patterns or applied ornament.)
No wonder young women are absolutely terrified of aging and who can blame them when not only do you lose your "looks" and your sexuality but also any sense of unique style or identity is verboten.
My neighbours are a sea of "brothers", by that I mean from the back you can't even tell who is who, all replaced by a uniform of black stretch pants and shapeless shirts in colours you haven't worn since you were a toddler. Give me this NYC eccentricity any day, it is better than what most women morph into.
suffice to say, these women are having fun, they are creative and reinventing themselves....I say bravo for them.
I will not be quite as decked out in bakelite...and will be surprised if I ever found myself maxed out with adornments as these rather fearless women illustrate...my upbringing did have a profound effect on my lack of embellishments and that niggling guideline that one does not go out to seek attention...blend darling blend!
The main thing I gleaned from the film was a sense of fun. An older woman with a sense of fun is a very fine thing to behold.
I'm quite a conservative dresser myself, but can appreciate those who are different from me.
I admit I loved the film, and I admire women (and men) who can carry off a strongly original style. My own style, however, tends to be much more subdued. For one thing, dressing "up" is a lot of work ... and I can't sustain that much effort on a regular basis. But wearing an unusual accessory (shoes!) does give me a lot of pleasure, and I hope it pleases onlookers, too.
Lark: Would you consider Mrs. B. as a person who "dresses invisibly"? There is a vast territory between "dressing invisibly" and the kind of clothes I usually show and gravitate toward. And invisibility depends on the herd you're among.
Anonymous: Who says "you must now give it all up and blend in" to you? And what is your reply? Mine would be, "Go microwave your hat." There are infinitely more choices than black stretch pants (though I wear them a lot, too) and shapeless shirts.
Do you think Mrs B. and the Milanesa have morphed into the invisible?
hostess: I have fun with clothes but would not enjoy wearing theirs. Possibly the menswear- but with my height and short hair, very close to drag.
Jane: It reads quite differently in high school than at 50s+. I still love Bakelite too.
Oneweirdworld: If Lark is willing, I would like that too.
Yet, the boring button downs or wannabe hip Vince/Eileen Fisher, etc. black clad 50s, 60s and 70s put me to sleep.
Mrs. B looks great. Even without the ring and the earrings. Her smile, the length and softness of her hair, the height of her collar - all say a natural. And a woman confident in her skill. She seems to avoid the theatricality but keeps the drama (and thereby the interest).
As for the Milanesa, yes, I stared at her picture for a long time. Something so compelling about that absolutely naked face in the pale twist of chiffon, revealing a woman who keeps her inner life inside.
C.
I was invited to a 60th birthday party a few years ago in France and the 2 different camps were in evidence, the eccentric English and the very elegant soigne french women of a certain age. I know which look I favoured.
Could not resist a pun.
LPC: Occasionally he posts a shot of someone quite restrained, but generally it's a lot of this, and not all high end.
demi-pointe: You have articulated what I sensed, the piled-on muchness of it. "Wannabe hip", sigh. Here I sit in black suede pants and aubergine cashmere v-neck, feeling vaguely hip but of course...not.
C.: Happy to be reminded of Vreeland's quote. And refusal, so prized by her, is answered by "Give me that, I'll add it to my outfit" for the more exuberant dressers.
Suburbohemian: Much as I applaud joy and wit, most of these women look too get-up-y for me to offer my compliments, unneeded as they would be. Any clothing called "wearable art" sets off huge alarm bells for me.
Toby: I would not want to derive attention only from people saying, "Did you •see• what that woman was wearing?" Some criticized Mrs. B's lilac lipcolour on The Sartorialist.
There is, as I keep saying,a large, diverse space in between the poles of "definitively eccentric" and boring.
And the Eccentrics I have known were either terrified of aging (by their own admission) or truly in love with colour and pattern, and wished to cover every inch of themselves in it. Or both.
Being (or calling yourself) an artist does not necessarily transfer into dressing in a way that flatters you. I've seen plenty of that, too.
...and who else do you know who makes her own false eyelashes with her own hair?
Duchesse, I have another Diana Vreeland quote in my blog's sidebar: "A little bad taste is like a splash of paprika.We all need a splash of bad taste. It's hearty, it's healthy, it's physical."
I think the operative words here are "a little." When I said I liked to have some whimsical elements in my own outfits, I wasn't thinking head to toe. Something like my orange Fluevogs, or a clever brooch, or a mixing high and low end items. it's a sly wink rather than a loud guffaw.
I may post some follow-up thoughts next week, lots to digest here!
Another reason I think I'd shy away from eccentric is my body shape -- notice that those women in the film are all slim. For me, as a curvy person, I'd much prefer to not risk negative attention. My splashes are all accessories -- and I'm learning not to be afraid to pile them on!
Pseu: Unfortunately, I see more mature women (in my city) who aim for "whimsical" and "a touch of fun" actually achieve a getupy look.
I also find many of the hairstyles too short, tough and sensually deficient. (I *really* don't like this look, in case you can't tell.)
I am not advocating staid, serious attire either, but I think many of the elders dressing "creatively" have mortgaged their dignity.
I like to pare things down, but certainly don't wear "madame" clothes either.
A confession Duchesse, I have an aunt who does dress a bit like these NYC ladies. Haven't seen her in several years; wonder if she still does. She'd be well into her eighties now.
Loved the bicycle, by the way, but I still prefer my Japanese survivor cyclist lady (circa St. Pat's day post).
Also, see most of the hair. Boho women tend to have more of it.
They are, however, expressing themselves as individuals. "Performance art" is a useful way to think of their self-presentation, thanks!
Who Moved My Birkin: Yes, and I have very much appreciated everyone's impressions.
Oh well.
It's funny, it did occur to me that the top might work better at Christmas time. I still think it's fun. If I can find some time to post this weekend I'll include a photo of it on the dress form.
One other thought. Perhaps if the fabric were of higher quality I could get away with red sparkles off season?
I'm just getting back into sewing so I didn't want to splurge on expensive fabric for the first few pieces.
Attention-seeking, yes. Also there is a dash of irreverence born with the accomplishment of getting older, I think. It does fascinate me that there is a recognizable 'type' adhering to artsy outfits and a certain approach to hair and makeup. That said, it can be done well by some - in those cases it seems that there are some underlying nods to classic rules of good dressing and presentation. IMO, of course.
I definitely tend toward eccentric but work to temper it with a few criteria. I am also in a particular phase of body change/skin change that makes me particularly self-conscious, so these are all on my mind of late: 1) From my grandma and mom - remove one accessory or item of jewelry before leaving the house. 2) also from those wonderful women - good shoes! Not necessarily shoes that conform, either. I love wearing the all-black professional 'uniform' with a stunning pair of shoes, often in a color. 3) flattering shapes above all else - regardless of whimsy, artsy, or maybe the temporally-limited quality of a piece 4) quality materials. 5) be comfortable in your own own skin and outfit. On this point I think of a couple 'grande dames' of eccentricity like Zandra Rhodes or Vivienne Westwood. Neither of whom should be copied, simply admired for their own adherence to personal style that's appropriate for their lifestyles and professions. Looking at Bill Cunningham's photos is inspirational on this front.
And 6) groom well. I wear my hair long because it's deliberately less harsh and trendy - often pulling it back simply in a braid or loose chignon. I far prefer it to a scalp-revealing spiky short 'do because it's more flattering to me. Hard-learned, by the way. Tastefully applied makeup and a good skin regimen beneath go a long way to setting off any look IMO. Sometimes I believe the overly piled *outfit* is an attempt at capturing and expressing vitality; good self-care is the path I am working at in order to accomplish that for myself. It's very conscious because I have worked in design and costuming and can easily slip into wearing something "interesting" that doesn't do me any favors quite quickly.
I revere a dash of irreverence. At the same time the earrings that look like bull's eyes do not look very good to me. Vivienne Westwood! She designs some very precise, almost austere clothes even though she often dresses as full-out eccentric. And her signature earrings are among my favourites.
Thank you. I'm big on playing with elements of camp and humor while being able to move about in the business world a bit too. There's nothing more satisfying than pulling that off.
The hair in the video is the first thing that jumped out at me! I have tested many a hairstyle and color and arrived at keeping it long and occasionally playing with color as a good medium between what would be too conservative to suit and what would be unflattering or limiting. Also, I think it's pertinent to note that more extreme style statements are different than when I was, say, 25 and could wear 1/2" long hair with a Liberty Tana lawn dress. For us ladies moving through the next phases of life, short hair in particular is hard to do well, especially when you start to add other 'edgy' style elements.
And on "wearable art" (rings an alarm for me too) I think it cheats the art to distract from it too much. I don't know about you but if I invest in a custom piece of jewelry, a great piece of vintage, or a particularly fine jacket I do not want to wear anything else to steal attention from it.
I wore a half-inch pixie for about a decade but one day saw a photo, decided it was past its best-by date.
I have friends who can pull off this kind of look, but not me. I would feel like a clown.
It seems very New York, or at least very metropolitan, assuming there are other cities where you could pull this off. I do consider that it might be a nobler cause than giving in to the invisible look that too many settle in to.
Mrs. B. is wonderful and i want to be her. I think the lilac lipstick is not flattering as photographed but it might be nicer IRL. My perception may be off, but I think it is becoming more problematic to carry off that grande-dame simplicity of black clothing and stunning jewelry in the modern world. Perhaps I just live in the wrong place.
Love the leopard frames, though. And I strangely want that hat with fingers though perhaps more for playing with a litter of kittens (all at once).
Anonymous @5:33: Unless you have Mrs Apfel's means, perhaps you can find something bold at a consignment or thrift so it is not a costly mistake.
This, exactly. An ethnic New York aesthetic, specifically.
I think these women are utterly fabulous. Quite clearly they are not going for the restrained elegance of Mrs. B or the Milanese - both of whom are also utterly, quietly fabulous - and so what?
These ladies know who they are, they like who they are, they are unafraid of expressing who they are. It's a rare and beautiful thing, especially in women our age and beyond. God love 'em, they're filled with life.
But desperate? Not seeing it. At all.
The women in the video have chosen a mode of dress they like, and I am guessing they know it gets looks- as one of them says "If you don't like it, I don't give a shit." So I infer that the woman who says that intends to attract attention.
To be clear, in my estimation eccentric dress no more equals artistic - and only artistic - than simple dress equals drab - and only drab.
My sainted mother, a working artist, former model (and ethnic New Yorker!), has a classic, quiet, elegant style which would doubtless be more consistent with that which you admire.
Those ladies are undoubtedly pleased when they look in the mirror. How many women - at any age - can honestly say that? I think it speaks to a certain confidence which is admirable.
Would I wear orange dinnerplate glasses? Probably not. But I applaud a woman with the courage and panache to wear them.
This is a fascinating conversation. I have also enjoyed reading LPC's work concerning this topic - dress as an expression of socio-demographic status.
Consider the African-American community. The idea of a woman hanging up her allure, her femininity, etc. when she reaches a certain age simply does not exist, IME. Dressing well, say, for church is a given. If you were my guest at service on any Sunday morning, you would see many of the ladies wearing gloves, and fantastic, fanciful hats coordinated with their brightly-colored suits. This is an UMC congregation and the clothing is well-tailored and luxurious.
In fact, I remember thinking just this weekend as I saw Miss Bernice - age 85 - in her winter white wool pantsuit, gloves, and matching snap-brim fedora, that she'd not be out of place on the Advanced Style blog. She was looking pretty sharp!
In my view, pride in one's appearance - whether you choose to express it the way my sainted mother and the Duchesse do, with elegant, simple, understated clothing; or the way the Advanced Style ladies do, with bold strokes that say 'HERE I AM WORLD' - indicates enjoyment of life. And that's a precious thing.
Marieanne: When you say "ethnic", regarding the women in the video, to which ethnicity are you referring?
I love to see people dress for any worship service, and feel uncomfortable being in a service where some congregants look like they have come directly from the beach.
Thanks for checking out the top. I like the idea of pairing assertive red with grey. The whole point was that jewel tones seem to work well near my face and solids are slimming so I was looking for additional ways to add interest to solid jewel tones. It's complicated!
There is a point where "creative self-expression" becomes so blatant that it works against a woman; her attire is seen, not her. That is the level I see in some of the women in the video, but clearly other commenters think it's not over the top.
First, I need to say how much I admire your blog. It's probably my favorite place on the internet right now. Although I sometimes disagree with your opinions, you are consistently entertaining and even thought-provoking. This blog goes way beyond what clothes we wear.
Regarding the women in the film, I think you are right to say "they intend a different mode of expression." I don't see a problem with their desire that attention to be paid to their creations. Your blog is your creation. Surely you aren't just writing this for self-expression--you're writing to be read by others. You want attention to be paid to your work. That's perfectly natural.
I also think for you to say in effect that only the young can pull off Eccentric is a bit ageist. So it's okay for a young woman to demand to be looked at but for a older woman it seems desperate? That's over-simplified and over-generalized. Watching the film, I simply didn't see desperation on anyone's face. On the contrary, those women all looked like they were having fun with fashion. They looked like they were still enjoying life. The two women whose dress you approved of did not.
I wish you would have taken what those glorious women said about their mode of dress at face value, judged their clothes as you saw fit, and left the psychology out of it.
You say that I am writing "to be read by others" and that "I want attention to be paid" to my work"? In fact, this perception is quite inaccurate. I would write if no one read this.
I stand by my assertion that elder women in eccentric dress convey a desperate desire to be looked at,to not be invisible- whether they intend that or not.
Most elder women no longer choose to dress the way they did when they were younger, whether that was arty-eccentric or babelicious (or other genres). You might call that ageist, I'd say a woman is wise to realize there's a time for certain effects and a time when they no longer serve her well.