Winter weight: Kilos and clothes

If you have not yet read Frances Ray's "Spring Body Audit" on her Substack site, Beautiful Strangers, I recommend that you do, for she addresses a decision that affects a good number of women in the Passage: the moment when those in cold climates shed coats and ample sweaters only to find "winter weight": the 3-4kg has crept on during dark days. 

For me, the driver to address (or ignore) weight fluctuations is predominantly about economics. I resent buying more when good clothes are sitting there unworn, or paying to alter them, which has mostly not worked well.  If I subject the things to Marie Kondo's question, "Does it spark joy?", I'm soundly joy-bereft.

Lucille says shape up

I thought I had the magic solution to this some years ago but was wrong. After a significant menopause  gain, I embraced the Lagenlook loose, flowing aesthetic and figured that was fine, until I was given a day with an image consultant. Lucille plucked every one of the boxy, oversized pieces out of the closet and said ,"They only make you look bigger".  I called this Lucille's Law and have used it since.

I donated dresses like the one on the left, and bought a few like those on the right. Even though they  have a similar neckline and sleeves one says you have a body and the other says it's in there somewhere. 

Left: Jennifer Glasgow; right, Marina Rinaldi

It took a year to drop about 15kg, during which I bought secondhand clothes, keeping Lucille's Law in mind. (To her credit, she did not urge me to lose weight.) The biggest pivot was a return to tailoring, and to this day I follow her advice. 

Instead of the big shirts, I buy styles with darts. This inexpensive example from Next UK has a side dart at the chest and an inverted pleat at the back, yet is not tight. 

Simons' organic cotton fitted shirt has two bodice darts and one back one:

There's a tradeoff to fitted shirts—the buttons gap if the chest is where weight gain goes. A bit of stretch added to cotton helps, but these are far less forgiving than the wide, unfitted cut.

For knits, I avoid dolman sleeves and am wary of those described as "oversized". A tank or waistcoat creates shape without constriction. 

This gorgeous waistcoat from Aethel can be found at lower price points, but their cashmeres are forever pieces. Details (a long vee and cabling at the side seams) create a lengthening vertical line, and the length covers the trouser top. 

Always a marinière woman, I leave the exaggerated wide style to gamines and choose a slightly narrower cut. (Amor Lux has a wide size range, from XS to 5XL.)

Right, Des Petits Hauts at Muriel Dombret; right, Amor Lux

I will occasionally buy something roomy and comforting in its wafty way, the Hallmark movie of apparel: feel-good but lacking substance. It serves as lounge or exercise wear.  

For bottoms, same idea. If you like elasticated waists, I know you are checking the rear-view, because sometimes the front looks good but the back makes your seat look like it's covered with a giant shower cap.

The audit: Then what?

So, circling back to the body audit: Any kind of audit uncovers the actual state versus intentions or wishes. Those in the Passage are undertaking multiple audits: the wardrobe; budget; relationships; health. It's a cleaning, weeding and re-jigging time of life. 

There's a tendency for shame to drive the body audit. What if we excised shame and looked at that particular area like we look at our budget: as feedback. Am I on track or not? Contributing to overall vitality or draining it? Will I accept it, or undertake realistic change? 

Frances lists tweaks to her eating and activity habits, and gives herself a gentle shake about the echo of cultural programming. And then has a nice cup of tea.

A body (or any other) audit contains layers, like those nested matryoshka dolls. There's the evident outer purpose (fit into clothes without strain) but deeper ones too, tied to our core values. Frances' inner doll is expressed through her wish to live "at peace with my physical being". 

I keep returning to that wish, elusive and sometimes hard to measure, which also supports a more connected life. 

That's the prize beyond the buttons.