Susan Jacoby's "Never Say Die"
We've recently explored how to be cool at 50+ (and whether that's a viable idea). In the midst of last week's discussion, CBC Radio's Jian Ghomeshi interviewed Susan Jacoby, author of "Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age".
You can hear the 18-min. segment here, (click the grey box for the pop-up podcast); as they say about old age itself, it's not for sissies.
She especially knocks boomer-aged "hucksters of longevity" who apply the age defying claim to drugs and cosmetics.
She especially knocks boomer-aged "hucksters of longevity" who apply the age defying claim to drugs and cosmetics.
For Jacoby, poverty is a deep concern, especially when 75% of elders over 85 are women. If we can live in pleasant housing, visit our grandkids, buy wholesome food and augment support services, we'll will vastly improve life should we get that far.
Meanwhile, "threshold seniors" aged 55-65 are being sold luxury cruises because "after all these years, you deserve it". If you can fund a decent life into your 90s and perhaps beyond (100+ is the fastest-growing age cohort in North America), bon voyage.
Otherwise, consider a weekend in the country instead.
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| Susan Jacoby |
But there are other, less dramatic ways to improve life for elders, action we can take within our communities.
I'm looking forward to necessity driving changes in housing, such as co-housing, infill "granny flats", vacation housing exchanges, elder camps.
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| Chair-assisted yoga |
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| Yum! |
Its time to identify and demand what we want now, while we have the ability to influence. What products and services would improve the quality of life in your elder years?
Comments
Another thing: pets! As we learn how much pets can positively impact our health and well-being, I'd love to see "senior housing" facilities, whether apartment style or even more medically intensive allow pets.
Sadly, many seniors who could benefit from animal companions cannot afford them. How about a donor program?
re "senior housing facilities": my preference is for more age-integrated housing, or at least the choice. There is an experimental residence here that has combined a college dorm with senior's floors.
Pseu, my thoughts are with you as you find a home for your son.
downthegardenpath: Suburbs are car-dependent, so even more isolating for elders. Always loved the notion of living in a hotel when I'm in my 80s, for the services and people-watching- but probably that would be too costly.
I live in a neighbourhood full of 80+ and the one thing they seem to do is live in denial i.e. they think if they avoid the topic of dementia or frailty that it will never ever happen to them. We shuffle people off to “the home” and then warehouse them with their “void charts” taped to the foot of their beds and keep them tucked away out of sight so that nobody has to see the results of just plain living pass our "best by" date.
That being said I don't think you can improve old, old age all that much. What I wish for instead of washable coats is access to some nice barbiturates say $20 worth. If I live too long I would rather go out on my own terms nice and peacefully the same way Marilyn Monroe did. I do believe I will become obsessed by this when I hit 85+ myself and no amount of elder aids, bathtub bars, help I have fallen and I can’t get up alarms, in-home care, senior homes etc. etc. will cut it for me.
Maybe the denial you mention is an OK strategy if it helps you enjoy life when all your friends are dying.
Good luck getting those barbs on your own when you're really sick. Best pick where you live (Holland? Oregon?) and lobby for assisted end of life options.
Running out of money is a major concern!
Besides pets, gardens can be nurturing and many elders find enormous comfort in them.
After my dad died 7 years ago, Mom moved to live near me in another state. She bought a small house, because it seemed like a good idea for her to have her own space, and to continue being independent. In some ways that was good, but she was very lonely living by herself; and she did not make much of an effort to make new friends. I think she'd have been much better off had she done so.
After about three years, she sold the house and moved in with my family. We are very fortunate in that she & I both had enough money so we could add on to the house. Everything we went through in the last few years was made SO much easier by having money.
I don't know what happens to old people who have no one to take care of them. Well, yes I do know, they die sooner. Mom was very dependent on me in the last year or two. If I'd had to continue working, how would she have managed by herself all day? It's a huge problem, about to get much worse with us baby boomers. And the House budget plan wants to eliminate Medicare, rather than strengthen it. Next they will try again to privatize Social Security. We must not let this happen!
My mother chose to live in assisted living and near the end, at 98, too ill to really fit there, she hired many supplemental caregivers. I'm grateful she could afford it.
I don't know how to address getting around. Living in a town with a vibrant center or, more likely, a city that provides some resources to seniors would be a help. I would like to find a place where I can live happy in my young old age, but will also be manageable as I age, when it comes to that.
Perhaps I think about all this because my husband is old, and I see first hand in taking care of him, how strong and dynamic in one's late 70's can suddenly become old and frail in the early 80s (or whenever it happens). Medicare doesn't pay for caregivers.
My paternal grandmother lived in a hotel until she was so old that she was confined to bed, at which point she moved to a home with additional private care nurses. She was quite a character. Her children grumbled that she was frittering "their" money away. I'm just grateful she had enough and didn't have to become a burden.
I think I'd like to read the book.
Well, alternatives to car-centred development have been a biggie for me for decades now, and not just because of air pollution or traffic accidents. Mary Soderstrom, a local author who was born in California (in the 1940s and who has lived here in Montréal since the age of 25, has written extensively in books and her blog about walkable cities and communities. http://marysoderstrom.blogspot.com/
Montréal social housing for seniors allows pets, as do many private facilities here.
While there is much to do, I also agree wholeheartedly with Anonymous April 19, 2011 11:10 AM - not out of any kind of death wish, but because I don't consider being warehoused and pretty much brain-dead at all akin to living. Here in Québec a very large majority of people agree with assisted end-of-life options. I know the MP who has led the campaign for a change in the legislation, Francine Lalonde. She is very ill with cancer. For many, just the idea that they have the choice is a great help.
But in the meantime, while I agree with Susan Jacoby against an adman's vision of "freedom 55" and onward, there has been a major change for at least some middle-aged to early senior people in terms of wanting more out of life - and I don't mean posh ocean cruises.
I think that "WE are the active old" is a boomer self-congratulatory myth.
Our goal is to find a good place to enjoy living in our elderly years and to NOT cause our children stress. There is a particularly nice place in Dallas called Edgemere.
One of my favorite elderly communities which I have read about is Kendal Oberlin. http://kendalatoberlin.net/
Our younger son went to Oberlin College in Oberlin, OH where this center is located and we always enjoyed seeing the residents out enjoying college lectures.
I guess I am different from most of you in that I don't think I will mind living with people my own age instead of in a age integrated community. I say this after talking with some members from our church who are enjoying a residential community (Edgemere) with no complaints that it is all seniors.
Also, I wonder how the particular and escalating needs of seniors are reliably met in a mixed age community.
Great post Duchesse. Thank you for this one.
For a definition of cohousing:
http://www.cohousing.ca/whatis.htm
Chicatanyage: From what I read about the current UK economic measures, I think it's going to be a problem *far* before our children's time, as social services and programs are being cut back or terminated now.
My mother, who lived in two of them, very "nice" places, always wanted to be taken to someplace where she could see families and young people when we visited. One might not think of the segregation when one signs the lease.
I have always wanted to live in a hotel like your GM. My mother did the same thing eventually, hired two "girls", as she called them, and said "Don't talk to me about money." Frugal all her life, but she wanted that care, and got it.
I noticed that there are quite a few already constructed in Massachusetts.
I wonder how many of them would choose that vs the opportunity to live in a mixed-age building with support services.
Glad you are researching co-housing; there is a lot on the Net about it, from various countries. My friend lives in a cohousing community in NJ.
Since I am only 59 years old (as of next week) right now, I have no way of knowing how I will feel on this topic when I am truly elderly. But, right now, I've seen some really appealing residential communities that are only for the elderly (55+, but most residents are 75+ and up). I would be very open to a mixed age community when they become available in my area. I will definitely be looking at them.
I think another thing that may have influenced my comment a bit is the fact that I have a mil who detests people her own age. Truth be told, she is a bit narcissistic and if one of her age cohorts is more entertaining or charming that she is, she doesn't like to be around them. I think younger people indulge her more and she enjoys that.
Unlike Anonymous, I don't want to miss the experience of dying.
With the internet, I'll bet there can easily be shared ride arrangement sites. I'd even consider a private car service if you could pay a flat monthly rate to have them on call. (A flat rate would allow you to work it into a fixed income budget much better.)