Take a walk on the mild side

Never planned to do this, but near the end of September, I felt some strain at my zipper, so scanned my plate for empty calories. Guess where they lurked: in my wine glass.  

I quietly altered my nearly daily habit of a glass or two with dinner. Le Duc was entirely supportive but continued his usual moderate consumption. Not one server at our local raised a brow when I ordered a Fauxhito; friends simply said, "Oh, right— Sober October!" A month later, I had lost 2kg.  

The holidays rolled in with the usual dinner parties, and a rollicking Girls' Night. Getting back on track after New Year's Eve took a little discipline and renewed my respect for friends whose sobriety has required effort for decades. 

Andi, an AA sponsor for nearly 40 years, told me she thought it was useful for a social drinker to periodically examine their relationship to alcohol by either recording consumption or going without it for a while. "We all thought we could control it", she said.

The experience has been like buying a red car and then seeing red cars everywhere

First, I found more company than I expected within my age bracket (Boomers); they cite various reasons: doctor's orders, certain diets, training for a ski marathon (at age 79!) One woman recounted driving herself home after a New Year's Eve party, and once in her garage, realized she should not have been on the road. She binned every bottle in the house the next morning. Several others stopped drinking to support a family member or friend.

Then I noticed that Gen Zers (now age 14-29) were not drinking like my gang did at that age; they have been called "the sober-curious generation". Drinking is less important, less character-defining. A 2024 Environics Research paper reported that in Canada, 40% of Gen Z respondents indicated they drink mocktails or non-alcoholic beverages compared to 10% of Boomers. (Source, Environics.) 

Perhaps it is they who have caused bars to offer a variety of alternative drinks, which cost as much as a boozy one—but fine, I'll pay to enjoy a Virgin Mary, and can't taste the difference. (Not everyone agrees; a son stopped drinking on January 1 and refuses to pay $15 for cranberry juice and soda.)

During this semi-dry (some call it 'damp') period, besides seeing what a 250 calorie deduction does, I also learned my triggers: no urge whatsoever for wine when I eat fish, but red meat, whoa! It's like my brain, already plopped into a deck chair on the saturated-fat Titanic, says, "Oh, why not pull up that big sunbed?"  

But plenty of my compatriots are clearing the deck furniture; Canadians' consumption has dropped more than ever seen in the 20 years since StatsCan have kept track:

My reduced intake conforms to Health Canada's 2023 Low-Risk Alcohol Drinking Guidelines. This latest recommendation is much stricter than in the past; now, zero drinks are deemed best for health and safety, and for women, two a week is the low-risk threshold.  


I studied that limit and thought, If everyone stuck with the no to low-risk levels, phone calls that happened years ago had would no longer be part of life; two friends' beautiful young sons killed by drunk drivers. 

I cast a beady eye at the no-risk zero; it still seems severe. If ordered to excise alcohol completely, I now know that I could—however, to paraphrase St. Augustine, "Oh Lord, make me abstinent, but not yet." 



 





Comments

Beth said…
I've cut down a lot, like you. For me it's both a health and diet consideration, and the fact that my husband isn't drinking at all. Won't spend cocktail prices on mocktails, though. I'm in Mexico City right now and haven't had a margarita or a shot of mezcal or tequila...bought one bottle of wine and have had two glasses. Boring and not very festive, but healthier and more companionable.
Beth said…
P.S. I think the Canadian guidelines are extreme, but even so, less is better.
Wendelah said…
My husband stopped drinking on and off after being diagnosed with cancer at 41. I drank even less, maybe a glass of wine at a party or a dinner out. Still, Kyle was an occasional social drinker until 2016 when he quit altogether. We were on vacation in Hawaii and he ordered a drink with dinner. That night he aspirated, contracted pneumonia, nearly ending up being hospitalized. That was the end of drinking and travel.
Duchesse said…
Beth: I would have a hard time staying away from spirits hard to get here, but maybe I have to be in the situation to see. Plenty of other local specialties to sample!
Duchesse said…
Wendelah: I imagine that was a frightening night for both of you, and clearly life-changing. A wise decision, putting one's health on the line is just not worth it.
Duchesse said…
Beth (re your PS): I was first informed of these new guidelines by a MD friend and I thought he said "two glasses per •day•" as that's what the old ones were: for women, no more than 2 glasses per day with a total of 10 glasses per week (so you were to take at least 2 days off). In Quebec (as you might guess) we are rubbish at meeting the 2/week goal with 52% of the respondents in a recent survey admitting to consuming more. But, the good news is Quebeckers have cut way down.
Barbara said…
Just started my 3rd year without drinking alcohol. Like you, Duchesse, we had two glasses of wine for dinner for decades. Then we did Dry January and I missed deeply my glass of wine during cooking for dinner.
I tried flavored mineral water, but didn't like it. Switched over to non-alcoholic beer and found a "Weissbier" which tastes so good. Although living in Bavaria I only had an occasional beer in summer when going to a Beergarden, but now I really like it. I drink half a bottle, which means an intake of 50 calories. Like you I lost weight and even better I didn't have a vertebral fracture anymore (Osteoporosis).
When we had a glass of wine on New Years Eve, we both got dizzy immediately. Can't imagine to drink again regularly and am glad, it was so easy for me to stop it.
Jane in London said…
I'm a great believer in moderation in all things - so I shall not be giving up my glass of wine any time soon. I occasionally have periods when I am not really bothered about drinking, and abstain without any conscious effort. The amazing range of alternatives now available is very good indeed. I will not touch a drop of alcohol if I am driving and I have zero tolerance for people who drink and drive. The UK government guidelines are quite strict and my knee-jerk reaction to being given a good scolding tends to be to rebel, so I pay no real attention to them I'm afraid...
Allison said…
Coming from a family of active or recovering alcoholics and after a very Merry Mix & Mingle youth, at seventy my need for ‘a drink’ is null. Sure I enjoy one glass of wine of a Saturday evening or the very occasional amaretto sour but no desire to drink on the daily. Having spent the better part of my career analyzing the nutritional intake of older women and realizing that their caloric intake was weighted heavily on their alcoholic intake I made the decision to move away from the bar. So many older women drank due to social isolation and they weren’t all wine drinkers. One unbelievably under nourished woman spent her pension on smokes, rye and chocolate milk! Another was mixing rum with Ensure and yet another elegant woman secretly plundered her husband’s well packed wine cellar daily ( at over a thousand bottles who was going to miss it) and tossed the empties into dumpsters behind strip malls!! A couple in their nineties told me that giving up their two martini a day habit was a deal breaker after his heart surgery, they had been doing that for over sixty years. Who could argue with them? Both were very thin and needed to maximize their oral intake. Her comment ‘we could do a White Russian once in a while’! A pattern was emerging with a lot of them…basically give up food in favour of
their drinks! So many wrongly assumed alcohol had few calories and would smugly announce they never touched sweets but a minute later reveal a bottle a day habit.our rye & chocolate milk fan was consuming a 760ml bottle every other day! Thats about 380ml/day ! A home care coordinator told me that closet alcoholism amongst her elderly female clientele had sky rocketed in the past fifteen years with the availability of home delivery making it easy to get their ‘drink on’ for many that’s eating into grocery money. I am glad to see the late boomer generation and some younger groups passing on the alcohol but a nutritional cautionary warning. Keep an eye on the mocktails made with juice, simple syrups, coconut cream etc they can be as high if not higher in calories than the alcohol laced versions. If one is controlling weight or blood sugars watch those. Juice has been banned in our house for years favouring the whole fruit because…fibre. We stock interesting 0 calories sparkling waters and I have no problem lugging a few when invited to events held in homes parties, cinq à septs or dinner parties. I might have a glass of wine with the meal but that’s it. Congratulations to all who have cut back ( the stuff is getting $$) à votre santé!
Duchesse said…
Barbara: Like you I missed the 'prep' wine more than the wine with food, but I did notice it also stimulated my appetite. I'm a fan of Peroni Azzurro "0" and even the ) Corona is pretty good. But zero alcohol wine, forget it.
Duchesse said…
Jane in London: Laughed out loud over your reaction to scolding! My initial reaction to being told the completely stop was that rebellious, "I'll have what you're not" reaction. But coming to it on my own, relative moderation feels much better than imposed limits.
Duchesse said…
Allison: I worked for the Addiction Research Foundation of ON for 4 years and saw plenty of seniors who were gripped by alcohol abuse. Some were couples and it was especially sad when one of them was ready to get sober and the other wasn't. Loneliness was a huge factor. Agree about the calories in mocktails too, lots of them are sugar bombs. I've been serving the newly-abstinent son some fancy brand of ginger beer that actually costs more per oz. than wine, but he's so pleased with it I'll continue. (he has an intensely active job so the calories are not much of a concern.)

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