Does anybody really care what you wear?
A Parisienne friend has been in therapy. One of her issues, she says, is an obsession with her appearance.Her therapist asked her to try an experiment. She was to dress in mismatched separates, "more than just mismatched", she told me, "really jumbled, random things", then run errands in her chic quartier for an entire day. "What do you think happened?" she asked.
She didn't get a second glance, let alone a pointing finger.
This is the same result reported by men and women (who mostly seem to be in their twenties) who've tried wearing six items for a month. Many went for weeks without anyone, from partners to work colleagues, noticing their wardrobes were condensed.
On the Six Items o
r Less web site, they posted insights about identity, culture and consumption during their month: "... one’s ’total public presentation’ is largely made up of a combination of clothing, skin, and attitude. Of the three, I am more convinced than ever that clothing is the least important to spend time precious thinking about and optimizing. Nobody really cares what you wear unless it negatively effects work performance or visually offends." -ATX
"...on a grand scheme of things – no one, except you, cares about what you look like. It’s all in your head. And the nice thing is – you’re still you. Whether you feel it or not." -Proxikid "I finally understood what quality was." -thekhesirekat
"Simplicity, conservation, and preservation are harder to learn later in life but I’m trying. The kids (and I) really will live through and benefit from the less is more mantra." -Shannonandkids
"Stress and complexity in life is most often a self-inflicted malady. There’s lots of opportunity to reduce that stress by reducing ones reliance on material things.
-ATX
"(I learned to) quit buying things just because one day I might wear them." - Addy
"My mom’s friend came to visit this weekend and I heard while they were talking, she said that shopping was her hobby. My mom said that’s what she used to do too. I actually think that’s how most people are today."-Addy
Could you do it?
Even if others barely notice, you might feel choosing your outfit is an embodiment of your creativity and autonomy. That's what I thought– but I wear about 25% of my clothes at least 85% of the time, a wardrobe Pareto's Law.
Anyone try the experiment? I'd be willing to sign on for ten items, just like the supermarket express lane.
Last summer's batch of experimenters had it easy; in Canada, fall means a jacket. And I don't want to live in my gym clothes. Ten to twelve would work; limited to six, I'd cheat.
Comments
http://labellafigura.net
Seriously, I have been trying to follow the Very Small Closet concept (6 bottoms, 12 tops + layering pieces & accessories). I like that I need to map out all the combinations - I've found that having a "crib sheet" of sorts is a huge timesaver.
A small wardrobe presents a very cohesive identity of self to others (just in case you think they really are looking or care).
Trying this as an experiment is interesting, living this way is a value.
My only request is that we start soon so we can finish up before Thanksgiving, but this isn't essential.
Does this include my snowshoes and rubber boots or just my city garb?
Does that include accessories/shoes/bags, or just articles of clothing?
Just because no one commented on the mismatched and/or repeated clothing doesn't mean no one noticed. I worked with a woman who wore one skirt style and one top style in several colors of each. She wore the same outfit, just in different colors, every day. I never said anything but I noticed.
I do, however, think that no one notices as much as I think they do.
Just thinking of "defining rules" makes me want to mix a fishbowl martini.
BUT OK, you are all so game! I'll post some guidelines on Wed.
diverchic: Dunno, how about
4 skirts, 3 pr pants, 5 tops, 1 jacket, 1 raincoat, 1 feather boa?
Christine: Your approach sounds like that the designer Halston created decades ago for Liza Minelli: a capsule wardrobe of his pieces with a map of various combinations (except I assume your things are from various makers.)
Jane W: Once you find a few good sources, you are secure on this liberating path. Such simplicity is not for everyone but as Demi-Pointe observed, it reflects certain values, values I admire (even though I do not always behave that way.)
dana: I like your strategy, too!
LPC: How certain and exhilarated you are by your choices, like your LBD! With that confidence, each of us could prune to an edited closet.
Demi-pointe: Most of us can find an excuse for more clothes! When I worked in the corporate world (in an office) I noticed that there was often an unspoken rivalry among women about who had the most or the newest things. Mostly this was a friendly, very enabling rivalry but it was there all the same.
Yes, this approach is a manifestation of values.
sewcelticblue: It's not that people don't notice, it's that it's not as big a deal as we think. As my Parisienne friend said, "They are all worrying about what *they* are wearing, not *my* outfit." I too have enjoyed compliments. We are deliberately conditioned (especially in N. America) to think variety and abundance is desirable.
Terrific post!
how did you KNOW?
this is EXACTLY what have TRYING to DO!
all you wonderful, thoughtful 'gals'?
here we are, using a visual medium!
how'about some picts of the actual
few pieces you CHOSE??
will be watching this site & look
forward to participating
ChristineB: I'm impressed!
Fuji: That's exactly it, and I will be inviting others to experiment next week.
Anonymous: Carrot? I'm a bit confused, do carrots come into the mix?
Of course, you are all a much more style-savvy crew, and I'm sure you'll look sharp even within the limits you set. I'll be happy to watch from the sidelines . . .
So this experiment might offer me some enlightenment, if only in a low key way.
I don't feel the need for more pieces; however, I do feel the need for better quality. Cheap clothes don't last long when you wear them repeatedly.
Mardel: So did I, And yet we keep buying (or making). But I sense a major shift coming on for me. Sometimes I'm so in awe of a garment I buy it as a form of curating. Or I want a lift. So now I have twice as much as I need and am not happy about it.
I haven't counted, but I'm sure that it's not a lot of pieces, especially if I can consider all of my black sweaters as one item. In my case, that's almost like a hive of bees being considered a single organism!
I'm really curious about why my warm weather duds are so much less focused? Am going to cogitate on this one...
Looking forward to seeing the guidelines you come up with -- I may just join you!
My closet now contains more than I can wear. I'm weeding things out---based on the question---Why would I wear THIS when I have THAT?
If we are smart we find what suits us and just stick with it. We don't need more, we just need more suitable.
There is plenty in fashion that I find to be interesting, but I know will be unsuitable to me at my age and with my lifestyle, so I'm not tempted to shop.
But 6 to 10 items would be impossible for me.
Perhaps I've lived in France too long, or was in the fashion business from my early 20s, but I do believe clothes are a fascinating, non-verbal expression of our personalities, the way we see ourselves, our creativity (?) That being said, I don't believe one needs walk-in rooms of clothes.
For me it's not shopping that's fun -- in fact I hate to shop -- it's putting it all together from what I have that I love.
Of course no one will say anything to someone who wears the same clothes over and over. That would be would be unkind. But honestly I prefer the French woman's aesthetic of less, but less with panache.
And I wonder, if someone wears the same clothes (as in the 6 Items experiment), and the clothes are clean, why would anyone care?
When I was younger it used to be I would see beautiful things, be it clothes or decor, and feel the need to buy them - a form of curating as you so aptly put it. I enjoy the inspiration beautiful things can offer and will often take a photo. Believe it or not it cam satisfy the urge to own and often times simply browsing those photos provides wonderful inspiration to work with what I have.
Of course, sometimes I just have to go back and buy the item. :)
I think nobody cares what you wear as long as it's clean and you appear to be in command of your mental facilities.