tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post8259713755664792380..comments2024-03-28T03:40:29.423-04:00Comments on Passage des Perles: When friends sufferDuchessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-72631376876925755642011-06-17T03:31:11.806-04:002011-06-17T03:31:11.806-04:00I loved seeing the interview with June Callwood, w...I loved seeing the interview with June Callwood, what a remarkable person. I only hope I can retain half as much grace and dignity as she did, when facing the inevitable.<br />As for the Dos and Don'ts, I am on the fence. Different things may work for different people and I find that it is better to try and be honest, even if a bit clumsy at expressing oneself than fall into the safe zone of preformatted behaviour.coffeeaddicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08719243899202995984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-19628154887318162152011-06-16T09:28:18.537-04:002011-06-16T09:28:18.537-04:00matrfamilias: I spent yesterday around a pool with...matrfamilias: I spent yesterday around a pool with a friend who knew her slightly, as did I, and we had a June memorial lovefest.<br /><br />mardel: I have been using "Want to hear some good gossip?" even with the elders I visit who are not ill, just semi-reclusive. Works wonders!<br /><br />hostess: Listen more than talk is a wonderful addition, thanks. <br /><br />Susan: She was an incredible woman and if not familiar to you before now, happy you met her.<br /><br />Alieen: Yes, it applies to any situation where a friend suffers. <br /><br />Terri: Glad he is getting the coverage.<br /><br />LPC: It is worth the 5 min. it takes, times over.<br /><br />Anonymous: Some deaths are traumatic no matter where the person is cared for. I infer that you have the plan for yourself. <br /><br />I don't agree that "People have no clue what dying with dignity really <br />is, it is not dying in pain or fear or starving to death...". My observation is that most people do have a clue.<br /><br />Have you seen the doc "Dying at Grace", about the hospice floor at Grace Hospital, Toronto where June Callwood died?Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-56653855480541612042011-06-16T08:06:30.615-04:002011-06-16T08:06:30.615-04:00Hospice care is not all it's cracked up to be....Hospice care is not all it's cracked up to be. I had 2 friends die of cancer in pain last year and without proper meds due to reactions to morphine and no alternative was offered. In Europe dying people are allowed to use heroin. It is legal in Canada but the Canadian Cancer Society ensures that the only supplier does not release it. Keep that in mind before donating to them next time. If I am terminal I will end my life with street drugs before I will subject myself to so-called hospice care but I am hoping that right-to-die becomes law before that similar to what they have in Oregon. People have no clue what dying with dignity really is, it is not dying in pain and fear or starving to death which is how some people go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-23401698655419964002011-06-15T23:14:02.909-04:002011-06-15T23:14:02.909-04:00This has been huge on Twitter. I haven't read ...This has been huge on Twitter. I haven't read it yet. But if you think it's important, I will.LPChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18209861350905135093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-44042013873588950742011-06-15T20:32:00.452-04:002011-06-15T20:32:00.452-04:00Oh, I heard a bit of an interview with the author ...Oh, I heard a bit of an interview with the author of this article on NPR and I have been guilty of "faux pas" as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-14675335625983985422011-06-15T16:09:09.018-04:002011-06-15T16:09:09.018-04:00That was a very useful article - thank you. A fai...That was a very useful article - thank you. A fair bit of it applies to bereavement too. The 'what can I do' question was one that always got me after my husband died. I didn't feel I could say 'come round and hoover/wash up/help the kids with their homework because I would rather curl up in a cupboard and cry'. It would only have caused offence.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-56734458456297388002011-06-15T14:53:50.190-04:002011-06-15T14:53:50.190-04:00Thank you for this post. I am guilty of saying som...Thank you for this post. I am guilty of saying some of those "nevers" but also getting some of the "always" right. Especially the one about not writing back, or attaching any kind of obligation to the help I give.<br /><br />The video is really sweet. I especially enjoyed what she had to say about her marriage and their experience living with her terminal illness.Susan Tinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11900811284963063686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-66907453670457915922011-06-15T13:16:41.139-04:002011-06-15T13:16:41.139-04:00I have several friends and relatives with cancer o...I have several friends and relatives with cancer one died and the others are still in treatment...<br />I have struggled with what to say too.<br />I find doing is the easy route for me.<br />I always cook and deliver the food with flowers and<br />maybe a stack of magazines or some funny DVD's<br /><br />I listen more than talk...it's a very difficult situation for all involved.<br /><br />Thank you for linking the article.hostess of the humble bungalowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06453827257671312902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-48593950939009066472011-06-15T13:06:56.971-04:002011-06-15T13:06:56.971-04:00Wonderful article, and thank you for pointing it o...Wonderful article, and thank you for pointing it out. I've said some of those phrases as well, although I have been much more sensitive about them lately watching several family members and friends suffering. it is a good reminder, and information we will all be called upon to recall.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to the video, I have it saved to watch later.Mardelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04850551308931710502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-64467051427792900492011-06-15T09:53:43.310-04:002011-06-15T09:53:43.310-04:00Feiler's is a wonderfully useful article. As m...Feiler's is a wonderfully useful article. As much as we might wish to be spontaneously sincere, in difficult circumstances, when words don't come easily (certainly not the right ones), it's good to have a repertoire of working phrases to convey our love, concern, and, above all, support. I'm looking forward to seeing Callwood speak -- she was such a treasure.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-53395396922488283592011-06-15T09:51:54.825-04:002011-06-15T09:51:54.825-04:00Vivienne: I am very happy that this is useful to y...Vivienne: I am very happy that this is useful to you, it is one of those articles that will make us better for reading it.<br /><br />emma: Have not read Suddenly and at your suggestion will download it on my reader. You are going to be moved by that Callwood clip, I am sure.Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-21003535537077080512011-06-15T09:47:19.970-04:002011-06-15T09:47:19.970-04:00The "Don't" List - what a powerful p...The "Don't" List - what a powerful piece! Thanks for sharing it with us. I'll listen to June Callwood tonight. This post reminds me of Bonnie Burnard's Suddenly. Have you read it?emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831705475681591440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-27897479114986148292011-06-15T09:37:09.666-04:002011-06-15T09:37:09.666-04:00Thank you so much for addressing the most importan...Thank you so much for addressing the most important (but so often avoided) subject. I'm very indebted to you for what I've learned this morning from your writing.The Vivenne Fileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05740975051742023907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-49111852013425605862011-06-15T09:21:05.214-04:002011-06-15T09:21:05.214-04:00Anonymous: Oh yes, I did! Thanks, I've correct...Anonymous: Oh yes, I did! Thanks, I've corrected it.<br /><br />Susan and une femme: We will increasingly need this advice, glad it's useful.<br /><br />Jane M.: I admire how he packed so much wisdom into one short piece.Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-2033792738122527882011-06-15T08:59:56.803-04:002011-06-15T08:59:56.803-04:00Thanks for highlighting that article. It's goo...Thanks for highlighting that article. It's good to know, and yes, I've said some of the "never's" in the past too.Susan Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16005855250089328310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-40288130379697656652011-06-15T08:52:47.052-04:002011-06-15T08:52:47.052-04:00Isn't that a wonderful article. I read it yes...Isn't that a wonderful article. I read it yesterday and know that ts message is much needed. I've been pondering the mystery of life and loss and suffering so much in the last year. Nothing that has touched me personally but so many wonderful people around me. This article helps me make sure that I am being of use to them in more helpful ways.Jane Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10236298438179825569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-43137896767320264272011-06-15T08:22:11.721-04:002011-06-15T08:22:11.721-04:00This is helpful information. I've already sha...This is helpful information. I've already shared it with a friend who has two friends who have cancer.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12756033682201519150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2872918251244874644.post-51182000658448766932011-06-15T08:16:38.530-04:002011-06-15T08:16:38.530-04:00Good morning. Love your writing. But did you mean ...Good morning. Love your writing. But did you mean a different George?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com